|
a decision on two guys! *help* I rate!
My boyfriend (of a year and a couple months) and I broke up a little over 6 months ago. (we’ll call him K) But we’ve acted like we were still together up until 4 weeks ago. I met someone (we’ll call him M) a week before I went on vacation/work. (3 weeks ago) (I would talk to M everyday almost 3 times a day! I would also talk to K while I was out of town. K would tell me how much he loves me, he can’t move on and he doesn’t want to, he wants me to come back, etc. A few days after I got back M and I hung out and we got together officially. Now K calls me every once in awhile and we’ve gone out to lunch a couple days within the past two weeks. And the last few days I’ve hung out with him and his friends, and I’ve missed that. Now, about K, he has cheated on me…a couple times, but I seriously love him with all my heart. I miss everything. And I know, I’ve been told, once he has cheated, he’ll do it again and that I’m stupid for taking him back, but I really cannot help it. So, now M and I have been dating for less than 3 weeks and I feel bad because he’s into everything I’m into and he cares about me A LOT! And now I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to write out each good and bad thing about each of them and I can’t figure out who I really want to be with. I mean, I do want to be with K, but at the same time M is there too. I don’t know what to do. If you have good advice, help me out! J I rate.. If this is too confusing or something, let me know and I can explain a little better.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Usually people tell you to follow your heart. But on this issue I think you really need to think about ALL of the reasons you and K broke up. Yes you stil love him and you miss how things were between you two when he wasn't cheating on you. But is your love for him enough to over power the pain of him cheating on you? Could you honestly be in a relationship with K again without wondering if he is going to cheat on you again? Could you be in a relationship with K again and trust him 100% knowing how your relationship was in the past? There are many things you need to think about here. But I also believe that since you are not over him yet which means you can't fully love or give your heart to anyone else yet. That maybe you and M should just be friends for now. Or you and M can continue dating but make sure he knows not to have any high expectations right now since you just recently got out of the relationship with K. The main things are to be true to yourself, true to your heart and remain honest to everyone. And don't rush anything. Good luck and I hope you figure things out.
]
You and K broke up for a reason. work on getting over him. it takes time. Fortunately you have time (i'm assuming you're not like, 80 here) and there are obviously other guys out there who will treat you well. Maybe you need more time to get over K before being in a relationship, or maybe you need to distract yourself by being in a relationship. Think about it. Just be careful not to lead M on, it's okay to let him know that you need to break up/move slow/ not get serious right now because you just ended a long relationship. Obviously don't say "because I still like K". It's fine to hang out with K still, just give yourself plenty of time to figure out your other options before you go back to him. good luck.
]
*help*,
My advice is, go for "M." Normally, I'd say "follow your heart" etc., but K seems like a total jerk. If he really loved you, he wouldn't have cheated. I like the "one guy, one girl" idea, and it sounds like you do, too. From what you hear, K is up to his old games. Go for M. He'll love you and treat you right.
-Becky
]
More Questions: |