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i dont understande him
ok so i have posted stuff about my realtionship and my breakup before but for those who read this and dont know, we dated for 2 years and been broke up for a little over a month. i am 19 he is 23. ok so my latest problem is kinda complicated. ok here goes i had to meet him today to give him his stuff well our little meeting turned into a 2 hour long meeting, and here is what he had to say i am sorry i never meant for this to happen i do love you i just dont know what i want. i told him he acts like he doesnt care. he said that he stays up sometimes wondering if what he is doing is right. i told him i thought we are making a mistake he said you are probably right but i guess i will find out the hard way. what does that mean? ok so tell me what he meant by all this i dont understand, why he would say all this and still not want to be back together and it is killing me. what do you all think i dont know anymore. please let me know something. i just cant stand being apart from him. i have to meet him again on sat becuase i forgot some stuff and so did he what should i say hoe should i act. god i dont know what to do anymore i am going crazy i really do love him and want to be with him but i dont know how long i should wait on him. i never doubted that he would be back but i just dont want to wait should i give him a aultimatum or just give him time.
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wow, you've been through a lot with this guy. i'm sorry to hear that you're so torn up about it. <hugses!!>
now i've never actually listened to this guy so i can't be totally sure of his intentions. but it sounds like although he's the older one, he's not being very mature. it almost seems like he's being passive-agressive because he doesn't say what he'll do but he'll just have to "find out the hard way". again, i don't know his past and ways and tendencies and such, so i say that there is always the possibility that he is sorry about how things turned out and that maybe he is willing to try again and be determined to make things work. the possibility is always there, but don't let yourself assume or expect certain things too much.
since you two were together for 2 years, it's understandable that you still feel an attachment to him and that you dislike being apart from him. heck, if i'm completely honest, i dislike being apart from my boyfriend of a year'n'4 months and i'm still dating the guy! <sigh> right, so putting aside my sappy girlishness for the moment, while you shouldn't totally ignore your feelings, you shouldn't let them override your common sense. while you were dating, did he do a lot of things that made him out to be unreliable, dishonest, selfish, etc.?
an important thing to remember is that a relationship takes more than one person making an effort for it to work. if he can't or won't put in a little effort, then you should definitely think hard about moving on from this chapter of your life, and of course, learning from it for the future.
although i don't usually recommend giving an ultimatum, in this case it might come to that. i wouldn't give it straight, just see how things go between you two the next time you meet. if he starts dodging questions or acting shifty, you might consider bringing out the ultimatum. watch the way moves and sits, listen to how he says what he says, watch his body language. if you'd like, you can relay those findings to me and i can analyse him for you (although i might have to go to some of my guy friends for help on this, i don't want to lead you in the completely opposite direction of where he is in this).
hope this help. good luck! if you'd like to rant/gush to me, i'd love to listen and talk. my email addy and my chat SNs are on my profile.
~*kitty*~
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I real feel what you going through, iv been through something very similar, i was with my ex 7 years and he cheated i found out and we split up!
Truth is you deserve better, I no you love him but do you really want to be in a relationship when he making you feel the way he is doing?
the next few weeks....months will be hard, really hard, you have days when you dont want to get out of bed but you have to. Y
ou have family and friends who are there for you support you and give you the love and support you need.
Belive me when i say it gets easier because it does. I am talking from experince i really am. 1 year later after my split and im with some1 else and so so so happy i now no the true meaning of love and what i had with my Ex will i guess it was a test, test in life which i passed. and this is your test, which i really hope you pass! He probably does love you but dont wait around for him, he made this decision not you. You need to try moving on let things be and within time he will regret it and if he really does love you, he will want you back, and thats when you decide whether you truly love him or not.
Be Strong
Good Luck
pinky1
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He sounds confused. Moving on (as you know) is difficult. A lot of habits are formed in a couple of years, and you both are part of those habits for each other.
Write it out. Write him a letter and tell him your feelings. Everything. Just be brutally honest about it. Let him read it and see if it changes anything at all. If it doesn't then decide what you'll do. Give it this one last try.
Finding out he made a mistake the hard way sounds as if he still has feelings for you. However, he wants to be free at the moment. He realizes he may regret it later...maybe when it is to late. You may very well move on. You should if he doesn't change his mind soon. Life is to short to wait around.
I hope the letter works. Give it a try and see what comes of it. :)
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