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best friends and jealousy
ok well im 20years old and im a girl; junior in college right now.
so basically ive been best friends with this girl for close to 2 1/2 years now. after i went away to college, i lost a lot of my close home friends for no real reasons, we just all changed and went in different directions in life. i had a hard time with it at first because they were the only friends that i had ever known but i came to realize that i have found such a great group of people since moving away to school. like the people i found in collge mean more to me than all those people from home..especially my best friend now (from school). so my problem is jealousy. i have never experienced jealousy like this before with a friend. like i hate it when she goes and hangs out with other people without me, talks about her home friends and all that..and she could have a boyfriend soon (no one really knows whats going on in that situation)..and that drives me crazy just the same. i get this constant feeling that im going to be replaced. and i know like i shouldn't worry about it because nothing has happened yet and you can't get upset about something that might not actually happen..and as much as i tell myself that, im still so jealous and i get upset sooo easily if i have to hear her talk about this potential boyfriend or goes and hangs out with other people. she knows im this way too because ive talked with her about it, but shes one of those people where you say something and she thinks about it for about half a second and then moves onto something else without actually dealing with it/trying to help me. like when you take away all those factors of other people and its just like me, her, and like a few of our close friends, i have the best time with and i think thats when im the happiest..but like the second she does something else or talks about the boy..i just cant stand it. i kinda want to get over this because i know how rediculous it sounds, its just the matter of figuring out how to do that. so how do i find a balance?i want her to be happy..but i want to be happy too..?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I guess that you just have to accept what will come. I don't think that because she has a boyfriend she'll entirely ignore you, but if you prevent her from going out with someone, or hanging out with other people, she'll resent you. I think the best think is just to see what will come and diversify. Just like with a stock portfolio, you need to have more than just one friend to rely on. If one of your friends was away for a couple weeks, you'd need to spend time with other people, and that's the same thing here, you really need to make more friends, but I know how you feel, after we graduated high school, most of my friends went to different colleges than I did, and you do feel really protective over the few friends you first make. Maybe you should try to be like her, seeking out new people, new boys etc. instead of just trying to stick with only what you have right now. That's one of the main reasons people go off to college is to learn how to socialize and create new relationships.
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