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AhHhh Friend/Guy problEms..
Hi! well oookay..i have a problem. I have alot of friends in school..mostly "girl friends" lol and tonight me and my mom and dad had a talk and they are like dont you have a boyfriend or any "boy friends" and i was like umm..and they are like why dont you hang out with any of them? and i was like because you wouldnt let me and they are like have you ever asked and i said no because i was afraid and my dad was like i would let you go out with a boy out to dinner or something. and my mom goes what happened to you? you use to have a lot of friends and hangout with a lot of people and this year you are like a nerd. just to let you know im a sophomore and im 15 turning 16! but this made me really..kinda depressed. i would LOVE to hangout with guys..but the thing is im soo shy and not outgoing at all. and either are the people i hangout with. just to tell you..im the most outgoing out of all of us and im SO SHY around boys..well some of them. i just really want more guy friends..its hard for me tho.. =[ my parents really like caught me off guard with this. and they are always talking about me "having no friends" i mean one of my best friends is my cousin and then i have another best friend and the one other friend i sometimes hangout with. thats it..i mean like i said i talk to alot of girls in school..we just never hangout..we say we should but it never happens..and the boy thing is also bothering me. what can i do? ive tried so many times to boost up my confidence and be more outgoing..its just not me i guess..
i will rate high for anyone who answers!
thanks.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You shouldn't let your parents make you feel bad over this. Were you happy with your situation before? If so then you shouldn't let it affect you. I expect that they are only looking out for you and are just concerned because a lot of teenagers tend to separate themselves from people when something is wrong.
But what do YOU want? If you want to hang out with guys then perhaps you could see if you could just strike up a conversation with a guy you know. Just a casual thing really. Ask him about a common interest. If you're really not at all comfortable with this, however, then there is NOTHING wrong with sticking to hanging out with your girl friends. If you're concerned that you always say you will get together but you don't, why don't you try arranging something? You haven't said how old you are but perhaps you could arrange a sleepover (I think in America you call them slumber parties??), or you could arrange to go to your local mall or bowling or something else.
After all, if nobody else has arranged to do anything yet, you can be the one who gets it started! Not only will you have plenty of friends to hang out with outside of school, it will be a great confidence booster.
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just start hanging out with guys do u like any just hang around. Its just like when u first start like boys or in my case girls. when your like 12 or 13. Just hang out with them exept your a little late. Im a boy and i bet girls have dont things that they think are embarassing and we forget so wats the worst that could happen. (we forget some things but if we want to we can remember)
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Hi,
From reading your question, I got the impression that you are friendly but just shy around people you don't know that well, or people that you aren't comfortable with yet. That's not uncommon at all, I am actually pretty reserved until I get to know someone and trust them. It's great that you have a group of close girl friends, but its a really good thing to be well rounded, and hang out with different types of people as well, including guys. I think you'll find that if you start hanging out with guy friends, they are sometimes easier to get along with than girls! Now, please don't misunderstand this at all - I am NOT saying to find new friends, or stop hanging out with your current best friends... friendships are something to cherish and hang out to, so don't neglect your current posse of girls. But, since you said you talk with alot of other girls at school but you don't hang out with them, I suggest that you slowly start expanding your social group by hanging out with some of them. I would probably start talking more to a nice girl who seems to have a fairly equal amount of guy friends as girl friends. When you talk to her, maybe throw into the conversation, 'So, what are you doing this weekend?' If she tells you her plans for the weekend, maybe ask her if you could join her. Chances are, it will be a mixed group of guys and girls and you can start getting comfortable and less shy around boys while meeting new friends at the same time. Also, to overcome your shyness around boys, just remember, they're only people too!! They are just as self conscious around girls as girls are around them. Start with little things that are outside your comfort zone, like maybe ask a boy as you are walking out of class, 'Do you know what page the homework is on?' or something else easy like that. In school, whenever you're about to ask a girl something that could just as easily be answered by a guy, like something involving homework, or a class, or to borrow a pencil, try to make yourself ask a boy instead. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect! And as you get comfortable with those little gestures and converstations, it will start to feel more normal to talk to and be around guys! And remember, always smile... because even if you aren't confident about what you're doing, putting a smile on your face will help you feel more comfortable and will let others know you are friendly and easy to talk to! Don't worry about it, it will just take time, and try not to stress about what your parents said, because they only want what is best for you. Another idea is to join a club or group at school that includes both boys and girls to meet some new people and that will put you in an environment where it isn't awkward to strike up a conversation since you already have something in common (the club or group!). Well, good luck, and feel free to leave a message in my inbox if you need anything else!
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