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Where do you draw your advice from?
I have read over your columns and for the most part i think you give pretty good advice, i am new to this whole thing and i read one of your advice statements while browsing through the advice wanted posts. I am always interested in expanding my mind and i would be interested in hearing your theory of the purpose of life and any other opinions you consider of importance. Do tell me as i am curious, and who knows you may gain from me as well. thanks
Advisor
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Advisor,
Thanks! It's always good getting positive feedback. Oh boy, the meaning of life. I haven't thought about this much and never really formed an opinion on it until rather recently. For some reason I didn't think it was important. I took a "don't sit there and think about it, go out there and do it" attitude. As said in my profile, though, I've changed a lot in the past year or so and I've become more in tune with myself and more sensitive, emotional, and thoughtful. My life was so hectic in high school, run, run, run, do, do, do. I never had time to sit down and think. I spent all my free time (which I had very little of) reading or finding more things to join. I owe most of this insanity to the fact that I never had much of a social life outside of school and my many school-related activities (way to go controlling family). Anyways, when I got into college I decided that I wanted to experience my first relationship. This sparked everything. I realized how messed up and unfeeling I was and I started to, not change, but grow. My family didn't like the fact that I had a boyfriend at all and their need to control my life ("for my own good") and not let me make any "mistakes" became much more viscious and obvious. I had to sever pretty much all ties with them to be able to transfer to the college I wanted to be at, major in what I wanted to major in, be in a relationship with who I wanted to be with, and work where I wanted to work. This experience was quite horrible for me, but it did teach me a lot about life. Sorry for giving you what seems my entire life history, but I think that sometimes it's important to know where people's values and beliefs are coming from. In and amongst all of the drama with my family I came to realize that if I was living my life entirely in order to make other people happy then it wasn't my life. All my decisions were made for me because my parents had complete psycological and physical control. I'd never really done anything because I wanted to do it before. I wasn't that I was a people pleaser, it was that I got used by everyone (I still do, as said before I haven't changed, just grown). I let it happen and I wanted it to happen. That was my life and I was happy in it. Or so I thought. Happiness like I feel today, was foreign to me. I honestly didn't believe in love outside of family. Once my belief and understanding of love grew, I got a better sense of what love was and what happiness was. So far, I've left out probably the most important part. I am a Christian, have been since I was 2, and I attend church regularly. Christianity shapes most of my values, but, unlike what some believe, I believe that Christian values, morals, and the definition of sin are open to personal interpretation. I believe that what's in the Bible should be interpreted personally with the help of discussion with others. That kind of ties in with my being a Democrat, but that's a different topic entirely. So, through religion and personal experience, I believe that for me, the meaning of life is to find happiness within my values. Creating a family of my own with someone I love is a big part of this. What makes it tough is that sometimes values conflict with one another and it takes a lifetime to completely define them. I look to God to help me make the correct choices and I try to follow the path that He has laid out for me. God wants us to be happy and He can and will lead us to our happiness if we choose to believe and trust.
Now finally, I believe that the meaning of life is to find a meaning in life. It's probably not going to happen until you're in your 20's or maybe even later, depending on what and how much you've experienced, and it can change at any time. Likely it will need quite a bit of tweaking throughout your life due to its' being based in a large part by your experiences and values. Mine, currently, is quite vague due to the fact that I'm only 19 years old. Once you decide your purpose, no matter what it is, you'll have something to live for, work towards, and acheive. If everyone were the same, the world would be a pretty boring place. Anyways, I hope that you find meaning in life if you haven't already and I wish you the best of luck in everything. Thanks for asking such a deep question and trusting me to answer it somewhat intelligently especially at my age. I really enjoy thinking about this kind of stuff and the more you think about it the more you understand it.
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