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Rock and a hard place
So I have a problem ... There's this girl whom i've been in love with for over 3 years but i've never gotten a chance to be with her. Background:
I used to work at a department store years ago when i first met her and sparks absolutely flew and we went out to dinner and we talked for a very long time. She told me things that she's never told anyone. (She advised me of this) but we never actually got together because of conflicting schedules then i graduated high school and went traveling for over 2 years all the while I just thought of her and my feelings grew stronger! I couldnt stop thinking of her. (and I still cant!) So when I came back I took up the guitar and drums again and I've even wrote songs about her! I went to try and find her but she had moved and I was unable to locate her! Then one day I went to apply for my current job and there she was! I saw her! She was working in a little fashion boutique next to the one where I was going to work! I began to shake and I instantly thought of the songs I had wrote and all the time that had passed and my feelings for her had only became stronger. So I went up to her and when our eyes met we gave each other a huge hug and i cant describe it ... it is ... undescribable so we talked and sadly she has a boyfriend but wants to meet up and hang out! I desperately want this chance so i get her # and she gets mine I call her and we go out to dinner we go into a deep conversation and she tells me i look really great and i tell her of my nights that i wasnt able to sleep b/c i was thinking about her ... After that dinner we lost contact again and I try to call her but she doesnt have v/m I see her again last night and we talk a little but she is preoccupied and i try to see whats up and she wont tell me I then tell her that i'm leaving again and she is sad ... I also tell her i've tried to call and she is shocked she doesnt think I have been ... I then tell her I leave in three weeks for indonesia for an unspecified amount of time and she says that we seriously need to hang out before I go ... What should I do ... ANd should I tell her the extent of my feelings ... that I feel she is my "Only One" ?
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Its important you tell her how you feel before you go, You cant be keeping your feeling a secret. Give her some of the lyrics and before you leave tell her youll call her...She has a boyfriend so its important you respect that and give her time to think about this. If she does love you as your love her she will have to brake her boyfriends heart and she must have a strong relationship with him. This is a big decision you give to her. You going away works to your benifit your able to give her teh time she needs.
Hope all works well
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I can understand your concerns. You want to tell her how you feel but you just don't know how and the fact she has a boyfriend makes the situation far more complicated.
Having been in a similar position myself in the past, I can only encourage you to do what I never had the courage to do. Tell the person you love that you love them. But, if you do, you must do so while accepting that nothing can happen between the two of you.
The way in which she was behaving after that dinner would lead me to believe that she knew how you felt about her and either did know how to handle your feelings or didn't know how to handle her own. It's possible that she feels the same way as you do but is too afraid to do anything about them. On the other hand, it is possible she doesn't feel the same way and doesn't want to risk hurting you.
The only way you will know how she feels is if you tell her how you feel and ask her. It's a huge leap but if you don't want to spend your whole time in Indonesia wondering what she might have said or what might have been, it's the only thing you can do.
Whatever you decide, I truly wish you the best of luck.
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When you said she acted preoccupied...do you think she may have an idea of your feelings already? I think she might.
I think it is okay to talk to her about your feelings. You have been carrying a torch for long enough, you need some kind of resolution to it all. Take along some of your lyrics and give them to her too.
I would tell her that you want to keep in touch while you are gone. She will have plenty of time to think over what you talk about. Try not to rush her into making a quick decision. I know you are anxious but she may need time to digest it all.
Good luck with your girl, and have a safe trip. :)
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