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3 different guys for vday!
hey ya'll.ok well im 16/f and im kind of in a mess right now! this is kinda of long but if you bare with me i'll rate high! ok so anyway at the beginning of the year i started talking to this guy and i thought he was really nice and funny and super sexy, and we never really hooked up or anything but now all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago he decides he wants to, but i feel more like a friend to him now. but he got me a valentines day gift and its suposedly really nice says some of my friends. and i dont want to hurt him because i think he really likes me. so thats the 1st guy. then theres this other guy who i met around the same time as the 1st guy and hes realllllly funny and nice and cute and super fun to be around. but i was never really attracted to him he was just such a cool guy to hang around. but now all of a sudden he tells me he likes me too around the same time as the 1st guy, but i dont want to go out with him either. and with the last two guys ive been kind of leading them on the past 2 weeks because i like panicked when they told me, so they think i like them even though im not going out with either of them. then the 3rd guy i met like a couple weeks ago and i really like him a lot! and he asked me out a couple days ago and i said we need to talk before we get together and ive been putting off talking to him because i dont know what to do with the other two guys. what do i do?!?!?!?! helllp!
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You have got yourself into a mess here, haven't you?!
Okay, let's get this sorted out. You don't really feel attracted to the first guy because he's too much of a friend now. You don't really feel attracted to the second guy because you also see him as a friend but they are under the impression you see them as more than that. At the same time, you DO like another guy who also likes you.
So, the first thing you have to do - however hard it may be - is to sit down both the first and second guy separately and tell them that you're sorry if you made them believe otherwise but you see them as great friends, nothing more and you hope it won't wreck your friendships.
Unfortunately, things may feel a bit weird for a while but - here's the part that sucks - you have to accept the consequences of letting them think you liked them. The important thing to stress to both of them is that you see them as terrific friends and it's not that you think there's anything wrong with them but you just don't feel there's any chemistry there. Be careful how you put it all though - the male ego is a very delicate thing.
Now then, the third guy. By all means go out with him AFTER you have spoken to the other two. If word got round you were dating him while the other two thought you liked them, you would hardly be flavour of the month. Now, I don't know the other two guys well enough to make this decision but you need to decide what to do about it. Either you need to tell them that you have met another guy you're interested in and you don't want to hurt them but you need to give it a try, OR you can go out with him and keep a very low profile for a few weeks until it has all blown over. Fact is, if these guys hear from someone else that you're dating someone else so soon after telling them you're not interested, there may be some fisticuffs and nobody wants that.
The most important thing about this is you need to learn from it. Next time a guy tells you that he likes you and you don't reciprocate those feelings, you need to sit him down and tell him the truth. That way, you can save yourself having to go through all this again in the future!
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