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stay or move on?
I've been really good friends with this kid...Andy...for 5 years. We started having feelings for each other, and during the summer 2 years ago, we started dating. But at the end of the summer, I found out that we were moving, and so I moved to Ohio and he stayed in Michigan. We have really strong feelings for each other...we can't stop thinking about each other and we talk at least once a week on the phone. Whenenver I visit Michigan, we always hook up but of course, it can never last since I live out of state. Last year, he tried dating other people, but it never really worked cause I was the one he wanted. I also tried dating other people, and again, it wasn't the same. Our feelings for each other were just too strong. Lately, I've grown an interest in two guys...and I want to try dating them, but I don't want to hurt Andy. I could start dating other people...but the thing is--and i know how selfish this sounds--that would give Andy permission to date, and i don't want Andy to date other girls because there's a chance that he could feel just as strongly for them as he feels for me.
Things are so complicated--yet they could be so easy--but I'm not willing to let myself lose him. I could just stay with him...but what if we have to keep our relationshiop the way it is now? On the phone and on my few trips to Michigan?
Or if I do date, I could lose him to another girl.
I just love him too much to let him go.
Please help.
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"...i don't want Andy to date other girls because there's a chance that he could feel just as strongly for them as he feels for me. "
To me, I think that you are (slowly) moving on... There is a part of you that wants to date other people but want Andy to be there just in case they don't work out. I say tell Andy what you are feeling and date those two guys...You never know what can happen after.
You dont have to do this but it's just what I think =) What ever it IS that you do I wish you the best!
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Well I honestly think you love him to death. Nd if I were you I wouldnt date because I wouldnt want to lose him. If I had any money I would give you money just so you could go down there to see him right now! I feel very badly for you<3 Tell him how much you really like him and dont ever want to lose him EVER.. he will get it because I bet he feels the same.. just think when you are 18 and he is 18 you guys can buy an appartment together..
<3 maddie
* ill pray for you *
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You really need to work out what it is that you want here because you're very confused. Unfortunately, nobody can tell you what you should do in this situation, but I would suggst that the best way that you can work out what you want may be to go on a date with one of these guys.
I can understand that the long distance makes relationships very difficult but at the end of the day, if you truly do love him, isn't he worth waiting for? They always say that when it's true love, you don't give it up without a fight. It doesn't really sound as though you want to keep fighting so maybe you're not really in love with him?
On the other hand, maybe it's got to the stage where you just feel as though there's no way it can work and it's time to go your separate ways, even if only for a trial run. If this is the case, you need to be prepared to let him move on too.
It sounds as though you do love him but sometimes loving people means doing what's best for them, even if you might lose them in the process. You need to tell him the truth. That you're interested in two other guys and that although you do still love him, you're not sure you can commit to him given the long distance. See how it goes with the guys you like and then make your decision from there.
Whatever you decide, remember that every action has a consequence and you need to decide whether the action of seeing if the grass may be greener on the other side is worth the consequence of losing Andy.
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First question here is about your love. Is it that you love him or are in love with him? There is a differnce there and should think about it a little bit. You can't have it both ways. To be honest, if you are ready to move on to other guys, then you have to let him go and see if he's willing to stay and wait. You can't blame him for anything if he doens't though because he will feel hurt by what you are doing. If you feel that this, with Andy, isn't working right now then you have to let him know right away, anything else would just be, in a sense, playing with him. If you do want to keep him, then you have to put your felings for others aside. Neither situation is ideal, I do know that. You have to figure out what it is that you want with him and the other guys.
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