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My bffe is copying me...
hey, i'm 14/f and i have a bffe, just like any other girl. But the problem with my best friend is everything i do, she must follow along. Its as if she doesn't have her own life to take after.She basically copys everything i do and if i come up with a new saying she starts saying it like 1 day latter ALL the time. And i even said a few things the other day just to see if she did it, and she did! i said i hate chocolate candys lately, so she took hers and threw them out! i couldn't believe how right i was that she copys but then again i can't help then feel bad. I mean, how do i get her to stop copying me, or even better how in the world do i tell her that she's doing it without making her upset? i told her once in 7th grade, and she didnt talk to anyone for weeks, but she has continued sense then though. its not like it helped. i thought about copying her to show her that she copys me 24/7 but would that really help? Reply pleaseeee i need to know :)
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whoa that hits it a little too close to home. people like that are really never going to stop being like that i would try doing something where you copy her then sit her down and tell her what shes doing in a nice way or save some of your conversatsions online compare yours to hers and how similar they are
good luck
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wow, ok maybe you sould like tell her how you feel about her copyingyou, and ask her about what she likes. If she tells you something that she likes, then try to get her to focus on things that go with the thing she likes.
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hi ok i think your friend is insecure about herself. she isnt happy with who she is so she feels like she needs to be someone else. I think since shes your best friend you should talk to her like a serious talk. you should tell her that she doesnt have to agree with you on everything that you say. you should tell her that she can disagree with you about things and have her own opinion and you wont be mad at her because thats how she feels. i dont think you should flat out say your copying me and its annoying because this girl sounds sensitive. so yea i think you should tell her that and also that she should be happy with who she is. tell her like ok the reason why we became best friends in the first place is because i liked who YOU were and that you werent the same as me. thats what makes a friendship interesting so you can see how other people think.
so i hope it all works out and that i could help
Samantha<33
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Well, if this was a TV show, I would be recommending you act really stupidly or badly for now, wait for her to comment and then point out you did it to show her how much trouble copying people can land her in.
However, this is real life and a real problem. While copying is said to be the sincerest form of flattery, it is often the most annoying as it deprives us of our individuality.
You need to look at it from her perspective. I would suggest that she has very low self esteem. If you don't like the person you are, become someone else. Normally the person someone with this sort of problem picks to copy, is a close friend they believe is everything they are not but long to be. In a way it's very flattering but it needs to stop. For one thing because she needs to stop trying to be you in order to work out who she is.
After thinking about this, the best suggestion I am able to come up with is that you sit her down and have another talk with her. But a very serious one. You need to tell her that you feel she's copying you and are concerned this means that she may be unhappy with who she is. Tell her that you want to be friends with HER, not someone she thinks she should be. Tell her that you're saying this because she's your friend and you care about her and you don't want her to miss out on the friends she could have if she let them see what a great person she is, without copying you.
If that doesn't work, take to wearing a false beard to school every day and let her copy that one!
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Ya, this is good and bad I guess. Good- she idolizes you, but bad- she may have such low self-esteem that she can't even define herself and be independent, ya know? Well the only thing you can do is communicate with her even more about this problem. Telling her once isn't enough if she is still doing this. There is a risk of loosing her friendship (it depends on how she percieves all this), so you can tell her or just keep living with it.
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