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Need more Confidents
hey im 15/f. I was wondering if any of you have any advice on how to get like confidents, and be like more "aggressive" maybe is the word. But like im a cheerleader and i know cheerleaders are suppose to be bitchy but im not... like people will cut me in the lunch line and i wont say anything about it ill just keep quiet. I need confidence, and courage... Im not sure how to word it but i just need to be like more confident and learn how to speak my mind! Like in a group or something ya i talk a lot.. but with other things im just quiet. Im not a shy person either my friends say that im outgoing and loud.. so is there anything that can help with this? Or say another example is if people talk about me, ill just be like oh okay its okay or something cuz i dont wanna fight with them. But i need to learn how to stop saying that everythign is okay. Please help! ill rate high
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Hi, I know what you mean because a few of my friends were like that at one time. And if you knew me well enough, you would know that i am probaly the one person anyone came come to to talk to or feel better. In that course everyone likes me and talks to me, and i've never been shy, and have always spoke my mind. I have helped my friends but it took along long time for them to realize that its not fun being shy, and when you finally speak your mind people actually DO PAY ATTENTION! yes, i know, shocking. but the only way to feel better about your self and actually say what you want, ( but not like mean things to people who don't need it ) but just like hey you cut infront of me, or who do you think you are cutting in front of me? its easy when you think about it, i can't say i would know but all my friends say i am the best at getting them to be more confindent. Mostly you just have to believe that what you have to say is important, even if its not. Another is once you do start saying things, people will notice the difference, weather they like it or not, who cares! But mostly just the main thing is you have to believe in your words weather there stupid or pointless. Its a matter that once you have confindent in your self its shown in studies that you have more fun. So next time someone cuts infront of you or something like that just say it. Loud enough for them to hear, but not yelling at them. And also make sure you don't start saying mean stuff to people once you get your confindence because you feel great about it. Because then everyone will re-state that phrase about cheerleaders sad enough. Just have fun, and speak loud enough, and believe in what you have to say.
<333 Megan
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First of all, cheers to YOU for not being bitchy or ripping on people who cut in line or getting into a fight over what someone else says. That doesn't mean you're a wimp or afraid to stick up for yourself. It may not seem like it now, but some of that stuff is just not worth the hassle of getting all upset about. The best kind of confidence is a quiet confidence where you don't have to resort to using that kind of cruddy behavior to respond to cruddy behavior, ya know? That doesn't mean you can't speak your mind about things, though. And it doesn't mean that everything has to be ok.
So, what to do? Humor is sometimes a good way to get your point across without making the situation worse. Say someone cuts in front you in the lunch line... how about saying something like "Hey.. easy there, Skippy. There's plenty of puppy chow for all of us little doggies". (Ok, bad example, but you know what I mean). If people are saying mean things about you, it really doesn't work to say mean things back. It'll just keep going on and on. Either ignore it entirely, or joke with it. If someone calls you stupid, tell them you blame it on the school system. If they say you're ugly, tell them it's a natural defense mechanism to keep the morons away. If they say you're stuck up, tell them that it's just hard to have so many people worshipping you and still try to bless them all with your presence. And keep smiling the whole time :) Your confidence will come from not letting these things get to you!
I guess the whole point is to ignore the things that are just a waste of time, use humor to diffuse the stressful situations, and for anything else, remember to express your ideas and opinions whether they are accepted or not. They are yours, and you should be proud for having them!
Hope that helped a bit!
G.
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