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Slight fear of Sex, Contriception, and Pregnancy!
Hey,
My main problem is basicaly im just Apsolutly petrified of sex! and anything to do with it really. I'm almost 18 and male, nearly 19 days of now, im in a relasionship of 5 months at the minute and ive lost my virginity, not in this relasionship though.
Through out all relasionships ive always been petrified of doing something wrong, accidently getting cum on my fingers or something, in my first hardcore relasionship i lost 1 and a half stone becasue she told me she was late, ive never had sucha rough week in my life!
People have said its really not possible to get some one pregnant during oral sex or what i just said? but still! Is this true? is my mind just esculating everything i think about that has something to do with babys lol!
I'm a really fun loving guy but it tends to get in the way sometimes and i worrie my self to peices when there probably is no need at all?
My first time, only time, was good , i enjoyed it and dint worrie at all, unfortunitly due to my idiocy i left the packet on the floor and her parents found it, (parents good catholics) and that was the end of that really.
Now i'm gettin up to this stage with my girl friend, im already always paraniod when it comes to simple oral sex, washing hands n all, but i mean? ive had sex before, and i enjoyed it thuraly lol, but if im scared, does this mean im not ready? does this mean i should just hold back?
My gf doesn't believe in abortion either which doesn't help as if something did excidently happen, if im honest i dont think id want to keep it, im for and against abortion but just at this age, i wouldnt be able to handle it!
I think she'd go on the pill, and id still use a condom but id still be stupidly paraniod if she took the pill everyday, and then i'd probably get even more wound up as i new she wouldnt come on her period every month as a relief sort of thing?
I no all this sounds a little blown out of preportion but unfortunitly thats how my mind works, i hate it totaly, i get one small thought, and it develops and grows and can totaly dig me in a hole.
Any help would be so so soooo Appreciated as i just need some reasurance or guidence or even just opinion?
Many thanks,
Tim
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
if you are this scared of knocking up your gf,you probably shouldn't be having sex.but if it's something you both really want to do,and you guys are really comfortable with eachother, be safe.always use a condom,even if she is on the pill.check the condom sometimes too,because they break, trust me.and don't worry so much.sex shouldn't cause stress.it's supposed to make you feel better and closer to your partner
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If you dont have a problem with practicing abstinence then i'd probably reccomend it cause you shouldn't have to be always going through these paniky feelings your going through your only 17 you should have other things to worry about then sex, pregnancy,ect.. I'm glad that even though your young you still have the mature sense that if your girl gets pregnant its both your problem. you do know that the conrtaceptive pill is almost 100% effective in perventing pregnancy right? its very unliky that she would get pregnant, and if you use a condom as well thats just more protection. dont worry to much about it really, i hope this reassures you.
syireen
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wow there should be more careful men like yourself. its a good thing you are cautious. and yes i do think you are not ready. maybe ready in the physical aspect of sex as far as hormones and stuff.... but mentally all the weight of the consequences of sex bother you. trust me wait. i really believe in gut feelings. sounds to me you are having that "i cant put a finger on why i feel unsure of this" moment. listen to your instincts. its very important to do that. maybe the first time you did it you felt comfortable because it was gonna be alright. maybe this time a little voice"i dont know if you are religious but maybe its a guardian angel or god warning you????? maybe something bad will happen. i say always stick to your instincts about it. maybe if it was a different girl it would be different. or maybe you subconciously view her as marriage material and dont wanna "dirty her" im not quite sure but its something to think about hun. good luck keep me posted
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It's good to be cautious about sex, but another to be completely paranoid. I don't think you're ready, however that is entirely up to you to decide and really none of my business. It's okay to not have sex, I'm sure your girlfriend will understand if you say you want to wait.
And no, a girl can't get pregnant from oral sex. Here's why: a substance goes into the mouth, down the espohagus, and eventually into the stomach. Sperm goes into the vagina, down the fallopian tubes, joins with an egg, and into the uterus. The uterus is NOT the stomach. No babies can live in a woman's stomach. I think this confusion is caused by using the term "tummy" for stomach and women explaining to their little kids that they came from their mother's "tummy".
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) has tons of information on both the physical and emotional aspects of sex. I highly recommend reading this website.
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Have you considered not having sex? It's not worth the stress if you're that paranoid. There's a failure rate for contraceptives for a reason. The pill can fail because girls are inept at taking it at the same time. The condom can fail due to improper equipping.
Consider becoming more adept with oral sex and otherwise calm yourself down before you bother with intercourse.
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