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they hate me!
at my school, i do'nt have alot of friends, i recently dated a black kid, btw i just turned 14 yesterday! and btw i'm white, alot of black girls in our school have turned on me, and the one hated me since like 2nd grade, i'd be walkign out of class or w/e in the hallway, and they'd yell bitch and just a whole bunchy of things to me, int he mornings i'd be @ my locker anda all 5 or 6 of thm be'd talking, obviously about me! it gets really annoying, its all day long, oneday me and my brother were talking home and they werere coming and yellijg shit to me, and i caleld them ''name's'' and shit, and they were like call me that again and ill put my fist in your mouth, its hard to explain how it makes me feel. i dont like walking through the halls, they imtimidate me, i admit it, but just he otherday i was in algebra it was just one of them, i sat irght next ot her! she didn't say word! its only when there together do they say things
i'd like to know how to make more friends, it seels like everybody in my school hates me, besides my 2best firends,and a few ppl i talk to just in school
please help!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think you should ignore them.
Sometime they will havta give up.
If they see you don't even care, then they will evenually stop. Don't even awknowladge them!
hope i helped!
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Well, first of all, do you know of anything that might have started this tension between you and these girls? Did it only just begin when you went out with your black guy friend? I know you said that one of the girls has not liked you since the second grade, but did all of this escalate after you started seeing this guy? I ask this, because unfortunately not everyone understands people who do not see color boundaries. It scares and confuses the other people and sometimes they lash out. This is NOT an excuse for bad behavior by any means. Good for you for ignoring what some others see as possible boundaries that should or should not be crossed, e.g., interracial relationships.
Have you ever tried talking to the girl who has acted badly towards you since the second grade? Do you have any idea why she's acted this way towards you for so long? Sometimes talking to someone one on one (meaning, without her other friends around), can be very enlightening if you have no idea what's been going on. But I have to ask, did you two have a confrontation back in second grade? Is it that this girl just can't let go of whatever might have happened, or are you giving her attitude as well?
I think maybe a good place to start might be to try talking to the girl who takes algebra with you. Since you said that she didn't mess with you while she was alone, maybe you could strike up a conversation with her in class. First sit next to her if you can, talk to her about anything outside of these problems. Try really hard to see if you and she might have some things in common. Make a friend out of her. It may take a little work because she may be surprised that YOU are talking to her, but don't give up. If the two of you seem to hit if off okay, then perhaps you'll be able to ask her one day what's going on with the rest of her friends and how they treat you. Ask her if there was something that you said or did that caused these girls to start attacking you. Even if you've done nothing, ask her if there is anything you can do to make the situation better. Let her help you mkae friends with these girls if she's willing to do so.
One thing for sure is that I would not ever start calling these girls names or cursing at them no matter what they're saying to you. You are "fighting fire with fire," and that never works. I understand that what they say to you may hurt your feelings or make you angry, but try to be the more mature person and ignore them. I know that sounds easier than it might be, but I think that it's imperative because you guys are all apt to end up in a nasty word-fight or worse if all of you take the low road. Do you know what I mean?
I certainly understand that at certain ages kids can just be cruel and there doesn't have to have been a lot to have provoked it, if anything. These girls may have chosen you at random as a target of their games and when you reacted to them in a way that they liked - hurt, angry, etc. - they decided to keep on doing what they've been doing. Now it's up to you to try to change your attitude. Surprise them with a "hello, how are you guys today" sort of comment when all of you are near your lockers. Make a comment about a class, a TV program, anything to get them off their regular train of thought. And, this should help you in feeling a little less intimidated because you are taking control of the situation, even if for a moment, AND more importantly, you're taking control of yourself.
On Monday, instead of going into school convinced that everyone hates you (I seriously doubt that's the case), go in there with your head held high and a smile on your face. Greet people with sincere friendliness and if anyone says anything rude or mean, just keep smiling and walk away. Yep, at first this may be a little hard, but I know you can do it. If you can show a different attitude and act more confident, people will begin to respect that. Ask yourself how YOU've been acting around these girls. How have you been presenting yourself to them and others at your school? Ask your two best friends if they have any advice for you.
I guess the bottom line is that I've always learned that people who are acting badly towards me can indeed change that attitude. But I need to be willing to try to understand what is going on and to try to possibly change my attitudes, too. Communication is so often the answer to many problems. I DO understand that it doesn't always work with everyone, but maybe it won't hurt if you try it with these girls.
I'm sorry this is happening. I'm sure it hasn't been fun feeling intimidated. And you know, it might even shock the heck out of them if you one day just calmly and sweetly go up to the girls closest to your locker and say something like, "Hi, I don't think we've ever gotten to know each other very well. I'm a little confused though. Since we don't know each other all that well, how come you guys seem to always be mad at me? Can we work something out to make our lives a little happier?" Don't be surprised if they don't react the best at first, but I would bet that this could open a door to that "communication" that I wrote of above. Try not to give up and just always put on your sweetest self and don't let these girls get to you, or at least don't let them know that they are!
Good luck. Something tells me you're going to be okay.
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wow. your in a tough situation. i know how horrible people can be and the best thing, even though it may not be what you wann hear is to ignore it.. eventually itll get boring picking on you. meanwhile, get to know those few people you talk to in school and let em know what a great person you are. eventually theyll become best friends and you can talk to their friends. thats how i got friends when i moved to a new school..
sorry if i wasnt a lot of help..
i tried. <3 beautifulcatastrophe.
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