|
..
okayy so me and "brad" have a history .. i've liked him for months .. me and him dated for about a week but he dumped me for a diff girl. he says he wouldnt have dumped me if he knew she had a bf tho .. and when i asked about a future "us" he said i can see us together again. that was a month ago .. now hes like i honestly dont know. so last night he called me and asked if i wanted to go hang out w/ him and justin. so he came over on his snow mobile and picked me up. he came and got me at 9 and we hung outside for a lil bit and then talked then we got on his sled and went over to justins. we had so much fun. there was fireworks and drinks and we hung out in the barn and we flirted SOO bad. it was so much fun. at about midnight we went up to the guest room, him me zach and justin and spent like an hour tryin to get the tv hooked up then once it was me and him laid on the futon and watched a movie and zach and justin were on sleepin bags on the bed. me and brad fell asleep and they brought me home at 3 when the movie was over .. he said he'd <b> probably </b> talk to me today .. probably? yeahhh well he hasn't called yet .. did i do something wrong .. was it just a friends hangin out? or do u think maybe last night kinda worked in my favor for a more than friends relationship? any help? please!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
this guy is an asshole, straight up, "he says he wouldnt have dumped me if he knew she had a bf tho" you dont deserve someone like that... "oh yea im sorry i wouldnt have broken up with you if i knew that she wouldnt work out" and then he just randomly calls and wants to hang out, you have a great night, thats awsome, and then he dosnt even call the next day, if he thought it was so great he definately would have called, im not trying to say anything to put you down, and im not saying im right because i dont know this kid in person, but it seems to me like hes a dick who is just trying to get some, and he didnt get any last nite, so he didnt call the next day, because he thinks your a lost cause. im sure you are an awsome, kind hearted person who dosnt deserve anything like that you just need to know what kinda of guys to look out for. and this guys, definately sounds like one of thoes guys that you need to aviod
]
If things like this happen to you a few times, you learn from them and nmove on. If things like this are a regular part of your friendships/ relationships with guys in general, belive it or not: it can totally twist the way you view dating and you will always wonder if the guy you're with is telling the truth, among other affects.
And yeah yeah: I know that's kind of a serious way to start a respose to your question, but oh man: I've been where you are and so have a few friends of mine and it's weird but somehow these seemingly simple times like what you described were the things that set us off on the wrong foot and set the stage for almost all future heart aches. I totally want to go with you for coffee and talk about dating and guys with you and see what you think and what you're looking for in life and in guys, in case there's any teeny tiny thing I might be able to say that could possibly be of even a little bit of help, cause I wish someone would've done that with me!!
If he wants to be your boyfriend, it should be obvious from the start. There shouldn't be so much confusion. If it's not obvious (because he's unsure if he does or not, or because sometimes he's flirting with you and sometimes he's just a friend, or whatever else) then move on. You're not there to wait for him, you're not there so he has someone to fall back on if some other girl doesn't work out, or if he decides he's tired of being single and wants someone around to flirt with or make out with. That's just him using you to make himself feel good. It doesn't make him a horrible person: it's just a great indicator that all he's ready for right now is someone to flirt and mess around with.
Have you ever had a friend that loved sending you a thousand notes in class a day or giving everybody hugs all the time and you got sick of it but they kept doing it because they said they liked it even though you don't? It's kind of the same thing. The notes and hugs make them feel good, so they keep giving them even though you don't like it. They're not taking your feelings into account when they go through with their actions.
He's doing the same thing, but in a way that can lead to a lot of hurt down the road. And not just tomorrow down the road, or at homecoming or over summer break down the road. We're talking: yeeears down the road! 'Cause once it's like that with one guy, it's easy to fall into the same behavior with the next guy where you let him call the shots and decide if you're dating or not and what you'll do with each other, instead of you getting to make those decisions for yourself.
This guy is not that into you. He's just into the idea of having a girlfriend and he's trying you on for size. He sounds like a fun friend, but friends don't use each other for kisses and cuddles, you know? Once that's there it's tough to be "just friends" ever again, so weigh that possibility carefully next time he tries to snuggle up with you since you'll spend more time in your lives NOT dating each other than you'll spend dating each other, so there'll more time as friends than as bf/gf.
This isn't some Spice Girls feminist empowerment advice. This is just the ugly, boring, and kind of annoying truth- same for guys as it is for girls.
Good luck hon! And know that you're never alone in erring on the side of caution. The worst that happens is you don't date this guy and you end up dating somebody better instead!
]
♥ just wait for it. I'm sure he'll call sometime. and even if he doesn't dont get too upset about it. You'll talk to him sometime. && I can't really tell, you should ask him how he felt about the whole night. x3
♥ good luck. sounds amazing.
]
More Questions: |