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14/F...love life/friendship actually


Question Posted Friday December 23 2005, 3:41 pm

ok so this is gonna be confusing but here it goes. i know this guy (nick) that my best guy friend introduced me to. well things were alrite and then we started getting REALLY flirty with eachother...like hey baba, i love you, watcha doin talkin to you hottie, ALL this stuff...some stuff i dont even wanna say. but ok heres my problem: well i knew he had this other girl that he likes i give him advice on how to get close to her and stuff. before it didnt bother me that i was kinda hot and heavy with a guy with another girl on his mind also, and who's ALSO friends with my ex b/f. but now..it bothers me. i wanna get out. he's a really great guy and i wanna still love him but just as a friend. i still wanna be "his girl" but just as a friend. i'm afraid i can't do this, not flirt and everything without him getting mad and not even wanting to be friends anymore (he told me he likes me a lot too..but we live a little ways away) so how do i get to not flirting really a lot with him and just sort of sink in to being friends. also my best friend that introduced us has in different words pretty much said to me to be careful. that he just really likes girls and all this. how do i get not SO close to him, but still be close friends.

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chickadeela answered Friday December 23 2005, 5:59 pm:
Well, I see you as having two options! So here it goes:
Option 1)
Discuss!
I think if he likes you you need to sort out your feelings for him. Seeing as how you want to be just friends you have to stop getting hot and heavy with him. When you do it sends the signal of wanting more, so I recommend you just stop - if your guy is the type of person - talk to him. You need to find out how he feels about you, if he likes you then ask, then why do you always talk about how much you like so-and-so? It's important to talk about everything - get it all out in open air - so then you can both move on to what the future has in store for you!
Option 2)
Tell him straight up No More! you might risk ruining your friendship - but it is important to let him know where you stand.
No matter what you do though - you have to stop getting flirty and what ever - this sends mixed messages to him. It's important to take a stand and work on being just friends. To be 'just friends' tell eachother about the guy/girl you like and help eachother with the relationships. Sometimes it's hard to be friends with guys - but it is important to have guy friends and girl friends!
I hope this helps!

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H0LDM3CL0S3 answered Friday December 23 2005, 5:39 pm:
one way is to find a guy that you like better to keep him off of your mind. i know that it is really hard to do and it's not the easiest thing in the world to accept the fact that he likes more then just you. it's really hard! another way is for a while, take a break from talking to him and spend more time with your friends. they will be sure to keep your mind off of him. even though when you are trying to not think of someone it makes you think of them even more, once you get caught up in conversation you will end up being like "ooooohh yeahh nickk...." i really hope i helped!

XO KALIE

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