Question Posted Thursday December 22 2005, 10:46 pm
As you probably know their are many ways to self harm yourself other that cutting. Well since I don't like knifes I do other things. Such as bruising myself, banging my head against the wall, scratching myself until I bleed, picking scabs, and punching myself. Well I cannot stop. I am not in control of it its my emotions. I think I'm very ugly because I cannot get a boyfriend.
And alot of guys think I'm ugly, and I'm not fat I'm actually short and skinny. I just don't understand why guys don't like me ... so I have come to the fact that self- harm is better. It makes me feel better. I dont know why. I cant control it. Help?
TimmyTM answered Sunday December 25 2005, 4:40 am: There's two sides to handling this. There's the preventative strategy. Trying to sort our your emotions and recognizing where they come from, what different things make you feel. Many become self-destruction when they feel they have nothing else. It's a lack of self-love, self-respect, ... self.. you name it.
But that's a lot to ask. You're smart enough to recognize that this is a problem. But as I've said to myself so often, "Why can't I just fix it and be done with it?" These things take time. Therapy can help, if you want it to. It's a delusion of self-perception. Some people don't see themselves in the mirror, some see the negative extreme, some see the positive.
But the other side of the coin is what happens when that urge hits, when you notice yourself being self-destructive. Think of some things you like to do to make yourself feel good. "Healthy coping techniques." It's a dry phrase, but that's what it is. Watch a movie you like, see friends you like. Anything that makes you feel good. And when you avoid being self-destructive, don't feel bad that it happened, feel PROUD that you made progress.
XoUkrainianBabeXo answered Friday December 23 2005, 9:03 pm: Hurting your self isn’t going to solve your problems. It becomes an obsession and a very bad one at that. The problem starts when someone tells you you’re ugly, you start to believe it and it goes down from there. You take over for that person and start telling your self that you’re ugly or stupid or what ever the case may be. Don’t let those people win. If no one has told you this then I’ll be the first. “You are worth a lot more”. Tell your self on a daily bases that your beautiful, that you have a purpose in life and don’t need to hurt your self. Look into the mirror and say it as many times as you need until you start to believe it. I’m not a professional but I would try to do those things. Talk to people that love and care for you and see a councilor at school. Talk to people that make you feel good about your self and try to be positive. Sorry if I was repetitive.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you get help
ps. you are only 13 and guys all always going to be idiots but at this age even more than usual. [ XoUkrainianBabeXo's advice column | Ask XoUkrainianBabeXo A Question ]
unkown answered Friday December 23 2005, 7:32 pm: ok there is noooooooooooooooo need to hurt yourself because of this. hurting yourself is NEVER gonna make a guy liek you. and to tell you the truth you dont need a boyfriend to complete your life. and your only 13 you should appreciate life and what you have. as long as your have friends that care about you and family then life should be great. whats all that hurting gonna do to you? all its gonna do is make you look worse. as in brusies make you look ugly and un attracting so just stop your self and be yourself cause thats what people want. [ unkown's advice column | Ask unkown A Question ]
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