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Ok, so as you probably already know as kids get older, some of them lose that "close" relationship with their parents and start fighting more with them and all..well thats whats happening to me right now.dont get me wrong. i love my parents and all,but i fight with them alot more and get irratated with them alot more, esp. with my dad. and then when it comes time that i need someone to talk to about stuff, im scared to talk to them for some reason. i dont know what to do when it comes to this.. i want to be able to talk to them and feel comfortable around them, and not argue so much..but everything i do just seems to make it all worse!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I'm no expert but I think it's because to a parent, you will always be their "baby" and teens can't wait to shatter that "baby" stigma.
The teen years is a time for exploration and the beginning of independence.
These two worlds begin to clash during the teen years because Parents want to hold on to you as long as possible and teens want to be free as soon as possible.
I think that's why driving is such a drama. Kids view that a drivers license as their ticket to freedom and parents are terrified because their "babies" seem way too young for this responsibility.
It sounds like you don't WANT to fight with your parents. If that's true, you HAVE to talk to them. I think I'm close to Zach but every once in a while, we have to have a "talk." And here's how we handle it -
We both express our point of view.
We BOTH keep an open mind to the other's feelings.
We BOTH get to respond to the original point of view.
And then one of three things happens 1. He convinces me. 2. I convince him. 3. We agree on a compromise.
It's working so far but I give full credit to Zach because he is very good about seeing both sides of the situation and respecting the final outcome.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE - NEVER LIE! Once a parent catches you in a lie - none of this advice will work because nobody can respect a liar!
A lot of teenagers have a hard time seeing where their parents are coming from. I think it's important that you respect your parents. THEY are responsible for you until you are 18. THEY take care of you. Every decision they make (even the ones you hate) are with your best intentions in mind.
If you respect THEM - they will respect YOU.
Some important tips during the "talks" -
Always stay calm when you talk to your parents. Emotional outburts scare parents and they will instinctively try and control you.
Be calm, be logical and no matter what they do - agree with them. Respect that they have the final say. Try this a few times and watch your parents change the way they view you. They will see you as being very mature. They will trust you more. And they will give you more freedom.
So this was a long answer. I don't know if you are going to be able to really understand what I'm saying. But the key to getting along with your parents is mutual respect. I think respect is something that you EARN by being HONEST, calm, rational, logical (not emotional) when you have discussions and no matter what the final outcome is - you MUST respect your parents. When they see this behavior - you will earn their respect and your freedom.
I'd be interested in reading comments from any other teen or parent reading this. Does anybody else have anything to add to this?
Love, Mrs S
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