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how can I help my friend realize the truth?
I have a friend who is still friends with this really awful woman. It was so bad between me and this woman that I had to put a block on my phone. She was abusive to me, she backstabbed me, she monopolized my time and tried to control me. She would break into my email account and delete things from my family. This is embarrasing to say but she even tried to seduce me a couple of times She is a real bitch and told me once that I didnt want to get on her bad side or she'd black mail me. I met her at a volunteer center when I was on welfare. My parents hated her and told me to drop her.
Well I finally did and was she ever mad!! I had to stop volunteering at the centre and stop going to the same places as her. She still badmouths me to any one who listens.
My other friend still likes me but is scared to get on this womans bad side. So she is friends with her but has to lie that we are not friends.
She even told me that i should bury the hatchet and phone her!! I said no way.
How can I get my friend to wake up and realize this woman is a complete bitch?
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Your friend has obviously realised this. Your friend is just too scared to do something about it. You said that for yourself in this question. "My other friend still likes me but is scared to get on this womans bad side"
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Your friend is aware of how this woman is. Her way of dealing with this type of person is to not let on. This is a completely valid approach to coping with someone like this. She just gives in and plays nice. This woman you are having problems with is irrational(very, very, incurably sick). You can't use reason to get something across to someone who is without reason. No matter what you do, no matter what you come up with as proof, no matter how many witnesses you have to a situation, you will always be wrong. These people waste no punches they start telling distorted versions of experiences with you to anyone who will listen. They have to proove their case before you do that..."you...bad...me...good". Thier distorded version of truths are based on stories of actual events to keep things "REAL". You can't rationalize with this type of reasoning. You will never win with these people. There are two lines of action you can take with someone like this. One is to do as your friend says. Suck it up and play friend (even though you are not) just to appease her. Then you can just fad out of the picture...calling her less and less, until you don't have any further contact. Y'all just lost interest, or so the story will go if you are ever asked. The second option is to take her on full force and that would mean going down to court and filing a restraining order out on this woman. If you feel you must maintan your distance at this point than you have to take more authoritative measures. It has been my experience that there is no happy medium with these people. They are all or nothing. I'm not an attorney, but it sounds to me like she may have broken a few laws already. She is being boldly abusive. You have to boldly counter her if this is your choice of action. I feel for you. This is an extremely difficult situation. There is no way you can come out of this unscathed. So, which line of action will bear the least amount of stress on you and your body is the choice that I'd make if it were me. I wish I had a "you win" scenerio to give you. But, any way you can get out of this with the least amount of scars is a success. Keep in mind...the more you argue with her the worse it will get. Good luck!
Namaste,
LULABELLE
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File a report and get a restraining order against her.If she keeps harrassing you,call the police.Good luck!
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Unfortunatly, you might just have to let your friend realize for herself. You've warned her about this other woman's flaws. But if you keep trying to push your friend to break it off with this other woman, you might just end up pushing your friend away.
Why anyone would want to be friends with this walking ball of hate it beyond me. But sometimes you just don't see the bad side of a person until it's 'too late'. I'm sure you're not the only person who dislikes her. And I'm sure that all the people she spews her verbal diarreah onto about you are sick of hearing it, and realize that it's not the truth, but just her hatred twords you for supposedly wronging her.
I'm glad you broke things off with her. There's no need for her to spread her special brand of misery onto you. But as for your friend, she'll soon realize she doesn't want to hang around with a depressed angry bitch anymore, and you just need to be there for when that time comes to support her and back her up.
Sincerely,
Tipsy Gypsy
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