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My boyfriend is disgusting!
My boyfriend of 3 years treats me well, has always been faithful to me, has never said a hateful thing to me, loves me deeply, and has stuck by my side through the good times and the bad. He is the perfect catch. The only problem is... he is sooo nasty sometimes!
I feel like, when it comes to hygiene, my boyfriend is worse than a 3 year old, when actually he is 20. He can go 3 days wearing the same outfit, I have to remind him to brush his teeth and shower, he picks his nose all the time, and he smokes cigarettes. I have talked and talked and talked to him about these things, and I'd admit, he's come a long way. But sometimes it absolutely drives me insane and makes me lose my attraction to him.
Since he has improved a lot so far, I'm hoping that he'll eventually get over these nasty habits. I'm hoping that when he gets a little older that he'll be more mature and take pride in his appearance a little more. However, I'm worried if we get married, will he let himself go?
I can't describe to you how good of a person he is. I have dated a few jerks in my life, and my boyfriend is the most caring, loving, and devoted person in my life. He is smart, witty, friendly, and sensitive. It's just this one problem that keeps tripping us up. Sometimes I feel more like his mother than his girlfriend.
Sooo what should I do when talking to him about it just doesn't seem to be enough? Am I being too critical? Should I just love him for who he is and not bother? Should I give up because I can't change a person?
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Why dont you just tell him what you said to us? That'd probably get him going in the right direction.
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well if you really love him, then you should stay with him. if you keep helping him with his hygiene problem, maybe hell stop. if hes a great person over all and you really love him, then stay with him. hope it helps :)
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I know you may not like this, but I think you need to lay off of him a little except about the smoking. Yeah, his habits are disgusting, but first off he's a guy, and second off, it's part of who he is. People don't just change. He's trying really hard to make you happy and it doesn't sound like he's getting irritated with you for pushing him so that's good. Even so, there's got to be at least a little give and take. Try one thing at a time. Get him to quit smoking first and give him some kind of reward for it, money, tickets to a game, I don't know him and you can probably come up with something better. Once the smoking is gone, which may be pretty difficult, move on to something else, but remember to make sure you're focusing on only one thing at a time. I think you'll accomplish more in the long run that way. One last thing. You're probably not going to get him to change completely. If you're out there looking for perfection, you're not going to find it. You have to live with a few quirks. Try to be more understanding and accepting of his habits because he is such a great person and a great boyfriend to you. He has to give up all these habits and that's going to be really hard for him, he shouldn't be the only one in the relationship making adjustments. Think about which of his habits you can live with and try to do so. I hope I helped and good luck!
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I'm not going to say break up with him. Because you might not find another guy like this whos as caring. I agree with Dez. You should really keep on bringing it up, it might change little by little. Honestly, your not being too critical. You really don't have to baby him. You can be his girlfriend and still love him like a mother. Tell him that he needs to takes more shower to be clean and healthy. If you guys do end up getting married, he might stop caring about all this stuff like the hygiene, but maybe if it gets into his mind that he's about to be a husband and probably go out with you alot to do shopping and stuff, i don't think he'll want to stink. And imagine if you guys have kids, the kid will probably say like "DADDY YOU STINK GO TAKE A SHOWER!"..or something like that lol =P. Never give up, people can change. I'm sure he will sooner or later.
♥
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Geeze what a tuffy..
Well he apparently isn`t perfect.. and that must be the thing you can`t and won`t be able to change.. Atleast for right now..
But i would probably keep bringin it up to him..Might drive him a little crazy but it`ll improve him just a bit more atleast..
No your deff. not being to criticle.. Yea continue to love him for who he is in the inside but continue to try to improve the outside too..Changing a person is going to be difficult maybe even impossible.. ♥ Dez
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