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Unselfish sex?

Question Posted Saturday November 19 2005, 1:17 pm

Is there ever such thing as unselfish sex? I'm not talking about when you are only giving to receive.
I'm having a usual weekend (too much time on my hands) existential crisis, and wondering whether I really do it because I want to make him happy, or simply because I like being physically close to someone, to have someone in my arms, because I like to touch him, because I find him physically attractive.
And in the same way, when he touches me, is it actually just because it makes him happy to have a girl in his arms?
So, does anyone think its possible to be truly unselfish in this regard - is it ever really about the other person?
And should I be worrying about it?
(NB I should just add that our relationship is fairly on-off - a lot of the time we are more like very close friends who hug and kiss, but will then cross the thin dividing line now and then!)

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SoInToYoUx0x answered Saturday November 19 2005, 4:31 pm:
i dont think you should worry about it because you both are equal he is doing it to get something in return and so are you so nope. you got nothing to worry about. and even so the only way to really enjoy havin sex is to do it with someone you have some feelings for atleast a little bit.

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Kizlode answered Saturday November 19 2005, 4:26 pm:
I don't think sex can ever be totaly unselfish, but I don't think that's a problem. In order for sex to be a pleasurable experience I think you have to feel that you are both giving something and getting something from it, that doesn't mean that it isn't possible for someone to experience a great deal of pleasure from actually performing a sexual act on someone else without having a sexual act performed on them. I think that the main thing about sex, and indeed any kind of intimate relationship, is that it should be mutually enjoyable and benifitial to both people, if it isn't then it will eventually become too one sided and fall apart or just slip into being boring.

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icey0990 answered Saturday November 19 2005, 4:06 pm:
its a balance of both *it should be anyway* of hugging..kissing..etc to both pleasure your partner and to get pleasure for yourself. there are people out there who only do it for themself, and thats sometimes accepted with the partner..the partner also does it for themself.
if you really have feelings for someone- its for the both of you..if you dont ..then its just for yourself

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