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on someone's advice column
Sorry this is long...
I found this on an advice column. It was posted by a well know columnist, and read the following:
Rules For Kids This list is the work of Charles J. Sykes, author of the book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add. Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1. Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1) Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label. Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it. Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend. Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer. Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom. Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.) Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day for eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.) Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston. Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts. Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young, and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately. Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now.
Being 15 years old, and going through enough to make me mature enough not to waste my life, I found that all of that is true. With the few people that would be willing to listen to me, I actually have tried to tell them all those things, and show them what life is really like [which is actually not like shows shot on a set and aired on MTV monday nights at 10.] My question is this: how can I further help those around my age to become...better? I have been trying to help people along with their troubled lives one at a time, but is that enough to actually pay off in the long run? Would there be anything I could do or say to maybe...get this process going a bit quicker before its too late? Thanks - will rate.
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I give props to whoever took the time and wrote that long thing. It's very mature. I have a problem with it though. It's none of thier responsibily to make other kids better. It's not their jobs, and they should really just try to worry about themselves. I know that wanting to help people is awesome, but you can't make someone be better againt their will. Everyone is different, and not everyone is perfect. That person will eventually realize that. There are no rules in life.. I wonder if he/she made those up or what. People should live their life the way they want to. No one needs to be changed for the better or worse. If they really wanted to, they would do it their selves.
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Eh. Even if it seems like they're all immature, they're probably not. They're just being normal kids, and that's what kids do. They've been doing it for generations. It's not your responsibility to make they other kids "better". They'll be fine. Take care of yourself. =)
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I'm new at this but most of the random questions I've received are from teenagers trying to change each other.
This is the time in your life that you and your friends will make major decisions...What college to go to, what to major in, what car to get, etc. Not many people enjoy being told what they should do. I think this is why kids start to fight with their parents at this age. They want some independence and the parents are still trying to tell their kids what they can and should do. If I were you, I'd avoid handing out unsolicited advice to your friends because it could cost you some relationships. You said it yourself above when you said "With the few people that would be willing to listen to me..."
Each of your friends is going to get to where they need to be by going down different paths. The fact that everybody is different is what makes life interesting. What works for you, may not work for someone else. So my advice to you is to stay focused on YOU and stop worrying about everybody else. Remember that YOUR way is not the ONLY way. If you REALLY want to make a difference in other people's lives, just set a good example. The ones that like what they see, may look at you as a leader or role model. But you can't force a person to be like you. It's a choice they have to make for themselves.
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Maybe as a 15-year-old you want your life to become 'better' and read stuff like this but I assure you, most don't. Alot of them know this stuff but really don't care. I know I didn't when I was 15 and I can say the same for my frineds. Yeah, it matters later on but hell, enjoy being a kid. If you want to follow rule 14, then stop worrying about all of this and live your live as a 15-year-old now because if you do worry about it then you wont have anything to look back on when you're 78. Sorry that I didn't answer your question.
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