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help me please
Ok so i have this friend ...honest this is about a friend ...and she has this boyfriend my friend is older then me by like 4 years ...i look up to her like a sister and when i met her boyfriend i got this horrible vibe from him ... he made me nervous and i dint like it one bit ... i told her about the vibe because everyone i asked said i have to tell her as a friend so i did and we are fine all that happend was she reasured me he was a "good one" ...little did i know my vibe was right
today i found out that one of my good friends saw him at a resturant standing in line with another guy and two girls ..one of the girls he was like nibbling her neck and holding her hands and stuff (i guess this could be a friend ship thing but not when you have a girlfriend) ...i dont know if i should tell my friend or not ..i know telling her would be the "right" thing but it will break her heart in half because this is the first guy shes ever honestly been abale to say she loved ...and then hes out cheeting on her while shes at work ?? ... i dont know what to im goin crazy trying to make my mind up ..please help me out ill rate high for any answer i just need some kinda of guidence thank you
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, since YOU weren't the one to actually SEE THIS happen, I really don't think YOU should tell her.
I know the friend of yours who DID see her 'cheating' boyfriend might be 100% honest to you. But I just feel that you will lose some of your credibility if you go up to her and say, "My friend saw.." It's not that you would sound completely unconvincing, it's just that it wouldn't be as believable as if you yourself had witnessed an even like this go down.
If you told her, she would naturally confront him. He might say it didn't happen, or he was there.. but it wasn't the way YOU said YOUR FRIEND described it. I think all it would do is create negative feelings between your two friends, and a tiny little bit of distrust between you and the girl with the 'cheating' boyfriend.
If YOUR FRIEND told her, she's more apt to believe it. One, she was there personally and saw it with her own eyes. Two, what motive would this girl possibly have to break up their relationship, right? If your friend with the 'cheating' boyfriend thinks she truly loves this guy, it may be hard for her to believe that he would have the odassity to do such a thing. The possibility exists that she may turn on you. If she's sincerely a good friend, she should know better than to create negative vibes with someone so close during a time when she might actually need a sturdy backbone.
Of course, this is her boyfriend, and she has every right to know that he is being unfaithful. If this guy is infact cheating, then heartache is inevitably. If I were in your shoes, I would want to look out for my friend and do what's in her best interest in hopes of easing the heartache even to the smallest extremes. If you AND YOUR FRIEND tell her (together), then perhaps you need to stress the fact that it would be good for her to see it for herself. Just alert her of what you honestly believe is going on, and tell her to keep a strong watch on him, but don't hold him too close. It'd probably be a good idea to set him up, rather than confront him. You want to give him the opportunity to cheat. I know it might sound sneaky and unfair, but when you think about it from both point of views, I say she needs to know. The thing to remember is, if he cheated THIS time, he WILL cheat again. Eventually his luck will run out, and his game will be caught.
I found a few websites that might be of some help to you:
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well i think you should tell her but say it in a nice way and explain to her you dont want to see her feelings get hurt when she finds out one day for herself he was cheating!!!!hope everything works out well <<33amber&ashley
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WHOA! thats crazy! but you should definatly talk to your friend. if she is REALLY your friend then she will belive you. good luck!
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put it like this. would you want to be in a relationship with a guy who was cheating on you? of course not...and wouldnt you get even more mad if you knew that your best friend knew? you need to get it out in the open and off your cheast she probably wont believe you but she can now have reasons to suspect the whole situation...it's okay to tell friends those things, it actually saves them alot more pain!
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