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just keeping you posted
I havent texted him at all today...but im not doing too good mentally;and emotionally; i keep asking myself questions like"why do i wonder how he is doing he should be wondering how i am doing,he left me and knows i am a mess" and when i have this kittle bit of hope that he is going to come home i start to get happy but then realize its not true and i become very depressed-i think to myself he will realize where he belongs and will call me when he wants to talk this out--but then again i dont see it happening and then i do-but i keep going in cirlces-with no where to go. I dont know how to stop this madness- i know i have to but damn it takes control over me-kind of like i know i have to stop smoking(especially so much) but i cant find the will power to do it--just like i have to know to not call him and it lasts maybe a day then i call-NO i have to not call at at but then im afraid he will think if i dont i am ok and he will be able to move on(eaasier)maybe thats what he wants things to be easier for him--it dont matter how things are for me. and not care -do i make sense? i just dont know what to think and when i think about leaving him be and having his space in my heart i see him coming home but in his i dont see it. I think about what you tell me and i wish i could act upon it. You have been such a great help and i turn to you on here b/c you put your heart into what i am saying not just give me any answer. I dont talk with no one i dont go out and i usually have a rebound when stuff like this happens--but thats not me no more i dont want another guy to fill my void--it dont work like that for me no more and this is the first time i am dealing with this by myself. Is he thinking if i love him i will "wait" for him? Is he never coming home and just not telling me? Are people giving him advice like "well if she loves you she will respect you and wiat until you are ready?" I dont know and just keep running in circles--now what?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First I want to stress again that you are NOT crazy, you are in love. But I do have one question for you...Have you ever in the past been in love with someone like this before?? Were your feelings so intense that you felt you were going crazy?? And ifthe answer is yes, then how did you get over it?? Was it easy?? I would think not...but you did it. I WISH I could say what I want to say to you now but I am at work and my boss ( I am a school teacher) has it in for me and she keeps walking past my door to seewhat I am doing, so you KNOW your in depth email is coming when I get home.But there is one thing I want to mention in this response is when you toldme that he upped the text message minutes, told you not to worry about them he will pay...but yet he still does not text you often orhe barely returns your texts you send him. Honey, he gotthose extra minutes obviously notfor you and he says he will pay forthemsothat you can't have anything to say to him about how they are used and on whom. Doeshe have credit?? If his credit was fine then why couldn't he get off ofyour phone plan and get his own?? WHy is he stillusing the phone that you and he got with the sole purpose of communication between you both?? I don't think his friends or himself for that matter is telling him much of anything in the ways of if you love him, you will wait. He isn't saying that and if he everdid,he isn'tnow. Your heart is the reason you rack your brain with the thoughts and the hope and when you start to move on, you get scared and feel like if you give up hope than it is over for sure...but for your sanity, you have to start looking at this like it is over. I will get more into depth later....but I am here and you can email me back after you read this. I just wanted to let you know why this is so short and not as in depth.
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