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relationship phobia
Hey...my roommate (20/f) was in a horrible relationship recently and she's kind of afraid to start dating again. There's this guy that really likes her and he seems pretty nice. However, he's shorter than her, which she doesn't like, and he's pretty clingy. They've slept together before, they didn't do anything, so she was totally leading him on and everything. She hangs out with him still sometimes, but she always complains to me about how annoying he is. I know that she liked him at one point, but I'm not sure if she still does, it's really hard to tell. I know that it makes her feel bad whenever I say something about my boyfriend because she's lonely. Should I encourage her to date him and if so how? I really want her to get over her new phobia of relationships! Any advice would be great!
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Well there is nothing you really can do. She seems like she isnt really ready. Maybe you should wait until she is comfortable enough to date. If you force she will just push away. Her phobia will go away when she meets the perfect guy. Dont worry your friend will fine him. I think that it is cool that you care about your friend so much.
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Encourage her to date sure, but please God don't encourage her to date him. She doesn't like him, doesn't seem to take him or his feelings seriously, and basically seems uninterested in him, no matter how much he adores her, it wont work.
The relationship phobia is normal and natural; it's a time for reflection and learning. Your friend will pull out of it when she is ready too, pushing her into another bad relationship would only make it worse. Encourage her to do what she wants to do, it sounds like she needs some more time before she decides to see anyone in earnest again.
It's good that are concerned with about your friend's feelings, but in seriousness, you should be able to talk about your boyfriend with her without her breaking into tears. You are different people in different relationships; she can probably deal with that. Coddling her wont help her move on any more then rushing her into another relationship will.
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If her last relationship was horrible, why get into another 1 so fast? Jumping into another relationship isnt the answer. If she thinks its gonna solve the loneliness, shes only gonna cause more problems. She needs to take her time, and get to really know a guy before she thinks about getting more involved with him!
It really doesnt sound like shes really into this guy. Dont encourage her into something just because youre in a relationship.
Learn from past mistakes! Take your time, shes still young yet. Dont find love, let it find her!
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