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Do I just forget her?
Sorry, this is something of a long story, bear with me...
To cut a very long story into a long one, one day in Maths I was tired and didn't have a lot to say. My best friend took it that I was ignoring her (I would speak if she spoke to me though) and decided to ignore me for the next week. Things were a little iffy the next time I had Maths with her (a week later) as I had started to realise she was being off towards me. I was tired again though, and would happily have spoken to her if she spoke to me but she never bothered, and so nor did I. When she had been ignoring me for a week, why should I? I was still talking to her over MSN later in the day (although she barely replied) so I don't know why she thought I was ignoring her.
After that 2nd Maths lesson, though, she made it incredibly clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. She was supposed to be coming to my 16th but instead organised a party herself on the same day and asked a bunch of my friends so they couldn't come to mine. She never bothered to tell me about this - I found out through other people. As far as I was concerned, she could have still been coming to my party as she had never actually said she wasn't going to! It was really rude if I'm honest and it upset me a lot.
So one night I told her over MSN that I assumed she wasn't coming to my party anymore as she was now having her own. She basically accused me of ignoring her for three weeks and acting like I 'didn't want her there' whenever I did speak to her - when she was the one who hadn't started up a convo with me for over a month! Once she started ignoring me, I realised I was the one putting all the effort into this friendship and, true to form, I ended up apologising for ignoring her when I hadn't just to get our friendship back. She didn't apologise at all to me and actually went off to watch TV in the middle of the convo, not to mention calling me a geek about five minutes after she deemed I had grovelled enough! Yes, I was a doormat, but I really liked her as a friend and missed her. At that point I would have done anything to get her friendship back.
The next day was Maths again and she sat with other people.
Needless to say, I was very hurt and asked her why later on. I got back 'I dunno, I told *name* I would sit with her'. I still kept convos going on over MSN and smiled at her in school at stuff but she's gradually been ignoring me more and more once again.
The next Maths lesson (isn't it funny how it all seems to revolve around Math?), a girl called Nic was moved over to my friend's new table for talking. Nic is in my Drama class and later called me over to ask if me and my friend were mates. I told her we had fought a bit but made friends about a week ago. Nic told me that that wasn't what my 'friend' had being saying in Maths that day.
I just need to point out that Nic must be telling the truth because *name*, who I mentioned earlier and who sits on that table, looked very awkward when I asked her what was said and replied 'she was just saying what you said to Nic, but more complicated.' Which means she was bitching about me. Nic also would have no way of knowing about me and my friend falling out if my friend hadn't said something herself.
This has really upset me! She is supposed to be my friend. I want to know what she was saying and why she was saying it. As I only sit a table away, I'm simply considering saying 'Oh btw what were you saying about me in Maths?' as it's quite plausable that I could have overheard her. My question is: what do you think I should say to her? Should I say anything or just forget it? Is it really worth forgetting when she was so lovely before all this? And what happens if she denies ever saying anything? I don't want to drag Nic into it because I don't want her to get in trouble for spreading stuff.
I'm truly sorry for the length, but it all needed to be in there to fully explain and trust me this is shortened lol!! xxx
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This has actually happened to me many times. Do -not- try to get her back as a friend. Even if you had a great time with her previously. People change. They come in and out of your life all the time. If she is a bad friend, which she sure as hell sounds like, get out of it as soon as possible. Either just completely drop it, and do not say anything to her. She won't say shit to you either most likely, since she is ignoring you. Or, you could confront her, and tell her to stop bitching about you to other people. Make it blunt, if you do that though. Do not be her doormat.
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I sort of had the same problem, and more than once before. Before I used to think we're just drifting apart, but then an experience helped me realize that maybe someone doesn't want you to be their friend anymore. Basically my friend got mad at me for the stupidest reasons, and sometimes just started walking away and ignoring me altogether. When I asked her why, she'd deny it. So the point is, sometimes people get annoyed. It happens to almost everyone. People can't stay around one person for too long. Now that I moved my friend and I seem closer because we don't see each other that often. Ironic? You can try to tell her how you feel, but maybe you shouldn't obsess over it. If she's a good friend she'll understand, if not, move on. Hope that helps! =)
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Hey there, Sit down with your friend privately and tell her how you feel about this whole thing, how it upsets you that you two are fighting.
Explain to her that you were not trying to ignore her. Tell her everything you have to say and ask her what she has been saying about you.
If she still acts the way she does now then I say let it go. If she does not want to be friends or talk to you and you tried being reasonable with her then there isn't much you could do.
If you need anything else drop one in my inbox or IM me anytime.
♥
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