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Playing hard to get
I recently got back together with my ex boyfriend after being broken up for 2 months. I have a naturally clingy personality and I think that might have been something that caused problems in the past. It's not that I'm psychotic by any means, I just like a lot of attention. I don't want to screw this up again... so should I simply ignore my clingy disposition and play hard to get sometimes, even though I already have him back? If so, how should I go about playing hard to get, and how often? I think games in general are stupid but if this will help keep everything romantic and healthy I'm all for it.
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'Playing games' and being 'healthy' are two concepts that do NOT go together. If you are playing games, you are putting up a false front about who you are as well as manipulating another person into believing this false self is the real you.
Genuine, long-lasting, mutual love type relationships are based on both partners being 100% honest about who they are...and what they expect from a relationship. If you want someone who wants to spend a lot of time with you, this guy simply may not be 'it' for you.
There are many, many reasons why someone might crave a lot of attention. Regardless of what these are, you still deserve being genuine to yourself. If things don't work out with this guy, that's too bad. If they do, it's too good! Either way, you end up in the right place for YOU - a place where you can be yourself, be honest about what you want, and be in a good position to find someone who really matches up well with you and your relationship expectations.
Best of luck.
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I have soo much experience with your issue and I have experience from your boyfriend's side because all my x boyfriends have been "clingy". Please take no offense to any of this, because I want to help you so I'm gonna be totally honest. Clinginess is none other than annoying. This is probably why it ended your first relationship with this guy. Because of this, my first suggestion would be to do what I wished my clingy boyfriend had of done, that it talk to him. Tell him right out front, "Hey BF, I know I'm clingy, tell me your opinion and just tell me when it's getting annoying and when to back off". He may say you're just exagerating but if he does give you some feed back, then you know EXACTLY what he thinks is overboard. My other suggestion, in addition to the asking your BF, would be to keep a journal, or diary in which you write everything as if you were talking to him. This way, you get all your bottled up emotions that are leading to your clinginess of your chest and onto the paper. I'm very confident that this will work, and I wish you all the luck. Hope this all helps :)
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I am the same way. First of all, talk to your b/f about it. Find out why things didn't work in the first place, and what went wrong. Then try to fix things one at a time. Slowly try to grow out of your "clingyness." Talk to him a little less everyday, til you can go a whole day, without talking to him. Then talk to him as much as you want for a while. But don't annoy him by always trying to be with him, or talk to him. He needs time and space away from you as well as you need it away from him. Let him call you, or IM you first. That way he won't think you are like obsessed or something. Getting attention is great, but you can't always get as much as you want from people. I guess what I am trying to say, is just back off of him a little, and see what he does. If he seems to not like the distance, get closer to him again. You just have to try different things, and see what works. Good luck!
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