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don't know what to do
this is my fourth year of playing volleyball. this happens to be the WORST coach i've had to deal with yet.. we're gonna call her BA. she is my sophomore volleyball coach. she acts like we're playing the world championships, ya know? our team is really good.. we've won conference for three years consectively. BA makes us all feel like crap. if we make ONE little mistake.. like hit the ball out, she makes us do like 3 suicides. and i have really bad asthma so it's hard for me. when i mess up, she picks on me the most. everyone knows im really sensitive, plus i have a horrible attitude. today, i was having an off day and she kept putting the blame for EVERYTHING on me, when something wasn't even my fault. she made us run like 15 sprints because of me. i know all of the running is conditioning, but running doesn't help you in volleyball. it just makes you more tired, you know? the first 20 mins i was really off, but the rest of practice i was doing really good. i was blocking everything that came my way and my hitting was awesome. she didn't say "good job" or "way to go" at all to me.. not once. she really makes me feel like crap, like i don't deserve to be on this team. i come home and cry bc she really makes me feel bad. this has been going on since the summer, and i dont think i can take it anymore. i only play like half a game out of two games anyway.. she doesn't even use me. i really want to quit. i know it's the wrong thing to do, but i cannot stand my coach anymore. she never acknowledges me for everything. i need to talk to one of my parents about it, but they don't understand. they think im not trying hard enough, when i really am. when i can't breathe, i still bust my butt. so i have two questions for you
1) if i don't quit, how can i handle my fear against my coach, or how can i stop being so sensitive about what she says to me?
2) how could i get to my parents to make them see what i have to deal with?
sorry this is sooo long.. but please.. i need any advice i can get.
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MY ADVICE: dont quit she is probly only hard on you because you are really good or are the star player ir something...so she is hard on you because you are the leader and she knows you can do better...well thats about it...just try hard and be polite...cuz othr wise things might get ugly...hopr this helps and hearst
emily
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well first off let me start by telling you when i was in school i went through a very similar thing, i hated my basketball coach with a passion, i mean i really hated her. i thought she was put on this earth to make my life a living hell, and for 2 years she did. by my senior year i was finally so fed up i went to her office and told her i really needed to talk to her, and strangly enough when everyone else wasent around she wasent so hateful.anyway i told her i really need to talk to you, i told her im not coming in your office trying to be a whiney brat, but i wanted to know if there is something that you feel im not doing right on your team, i said you seem to always single me out, and im beginning to feel like it is personal. her response to me was, i dont have anything personal against you infact you are one of the best players on the team. she said sometimes us coaches show it in a diffrent way then we should but the people we are the hardest on are the ones that we know are the best, and get disappointed when we feel like they are not giving there all. and strangely enough things did change a little, not alot but i was ok with that because i finally figured it out and it made sense to me and when she was a little hard on me i just tryed harder and things went very well. i also learned it in the millitary when i was in basic training and getting my ass chewed out, that they give the ones with the most potential the hardest time, because they want to see if they are strong enough to deal with critisism, if you can you can deal with anything. so i think you should hang in there, and maybe if it is that bad you should talk to your coach, before quiting, otherwise what her greatest fesr for you will come true, you will become a quitter and she will be right, now do you really want that...lol...good luck.
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The best way to make them quit bugging you, is to act like you enjoy it. Give them attitude isn't going to get you anywhere. Just put your best out there 24/7. Coaches talk tough so that you will be tough. It doesn't mean that you aren't a valuable part of the team. As long as you are doing your best, then you have nothing to be sensitive about. Think about what you are saying and how you are feeling before it actually happens and figure out a way around it.
It is generally better to stay active even if you have ashtma. I am sure the coach knows of the warning signs if you are having problems. Things are just a little harder for you in general.
Whining to your parents isn't going to get you anywhere. They are probably going to say that you agreed to be part of the team, and walking out now isn't going to accomplish anything. Besides, this could help your on your college admissions at the least or a scholarship at best.
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The first thing that struck me about your question is your poor attitude. If you have an attitude problem towards teachers and ot anyone else you can be sure the coach will know. Maybe, this person is laying it on you because you are known to be a brat around authority figures. She may have it in for you. I do not know.
The problem here is basic common sense. If you cannot breathe properly it is a major concern and only you know (parents will not nor coach) that something is really wrong anytime you do something physical related to this. If this is that bad THEN GET OUT NOW. You do not need an asthmatic attack because of this or something tragic. If it agrivates your asthma then GET OUT NOW.
Health comes before anything else. You see a problem there so deal with and get a doctor's note getting you out of that program. In fact, you can see a doctor on your own without parents.
I think it is too risky for you to play. I also think quitting generally is wrong if we are being challenged to be something someone else sees in us. In this case quitting is perfectly and completely the right thing to do. Let's examine why PRINT ENTIRE E-MAIL FOR PARENTS AND THEY WILL GET IT!! TRUST ME.
1) Mental Health is foremost the most important thing to take care of. Being constantly exposed to people who make you feel worthless will kill your self-esteem completely and mentally effect you now and later too--words hurt and linger for a long time as does public humiliation in front of peers. The coach is a lousy one and no you do not have to take it. Nobody should or does.
2) PHYSICAL HEALTH IS PARAMOUNT. If you cannot even breathe easily when playing this game than that F--KING matters the most. Screw the game and forget if your parents think you are just a quitter. Look at all the newspaper reports of kids pushed too far by coaches to do ridiculous things if they might be sick. A lot of them have died as a result of being pushed too physically far with an illness like yours.
It should not take an ashtma attack to have to figure out this sport is bad news for your health. If they cannot see it they are way too dense to raise you even and need more information on the illness that could kill you from such activity.
As far as being sensitive goes you need a thick shell in live as people will try to break you down or wear you down. I think at your age though you do not need to be exposed to this kind of person because you have not got the skills to shrug it off or go on with life. Quit and use the lessons learned here to further prepare for difficult idiots later down the road.
3) KEEP YOUR EGO/ATTITUDE IN CHECK
If you are being a brat or have an attitude at school educators and principals will know all around the school that you or your parents are a pain the ass (perception) and you are sunk from there on in trying to deal with them. You have to watch your temper and learn how to zero in anger and get rid of it. This is your biggest problem and perhaps the reason for everything. And no it's not being too sensitive not to like abuse.
Bottom line: Quit. It's all about what makes you happy and comfortable and safe and sound. It is nobody else's decision but yours. If your parents agree this coach is too overboard have them write a letter to the schoolboard and not the principal. With the schoolboard they'll look into it as they get voted in (the chairpeople) with the school they always back their asshole employee no matter what they have done to a kid.
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