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big confidence problem!!!
hey heres my story:
im 18 yrs old and in love with a 24 yr old man! my story starts like this, hes my manager at my job and iimediatly had an instant crush on him but me i dont have that much confidence in myself so when he satrted to show intrest in me i panicked and backed way and brought in a freind to go for him, but the only thing is that the friend is actualy me! the real me that i would like to be but dont have the confidence to be! i made up her name and a whloe life for her(me).and called him pretending to be this person! everything was going so well and my emotions got stronger and the more we talked the more we had in common! i ended up fallin totaly head over heels in love with him and decided id tell him and low and behold he felt the same way! and of course he wanted to meet! i didnt know wat to do! i thought for days and days as to wat i should do and finaly decided i should tell him the truth! that the women he was in love with was me!.... well when i told him over the phone he seemed fine and didnt wanna talk about it just wanted to put it behind us and told me that he could never trust me agian! and im the type of person that trust is important to me and it broke my heart to hear that! so anyway the next three weeks passed by and evything was fine he was nice and called me to talk like friends he invited me to places with him and stil comnfided stuff with me! we were all cool then he hit me with a song he had wrote! he had origianly wanted me to hear it but my comp didnt have speakers so he sent me the lyrics! it was amazing lyrics it touched my heart but he didnt say that i was for me! so i read it he imed me like 20 times asking me if i had recived it and wanted my reaction! once again i panicked and retracted my emotions and played it as if i didnt understand the message he was trying to convey! like i liked the song and wanted to know who the artist was (knowing that he wrote it). he immediatly signed off! then greated me at work with a big smile the next day and asked me once again if i had recived the email! again i backed away! and now so di he! he wont talk to me as much anymore and insist on makeing me jelouse with the other female employees! meanwhile im standing hear with all these feelings and dont know wat to do! im in love with him so much it hurts i cant take it anymore he keeps telling me that my apolagies just arnt enough! Ali can u pls tell me wat i should do! it hurts to have these strong feeling twords someone and not be sure that they feel the same way! i want to go back to when i was the real me!( wich he named lola)
sincerly,
lola( the real me)
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Aww You should be confident seems like your lack of selfesteeme is ruining your life. stand straight and realize he wouldnt have done all this if he didnt feel the same way. This is what i wnat you to do next time hes alone you walk up to him and just be confident throw cares away and stop worrying what people will think. Say you still love him and that your tired of being afraid and would really like to see him that weekend. BE CONFIDNET THERE IS OSMETHING HE SEES IN YOU AND LOVES NOW SEE IT FOR YOURSELF AND LOVE YOUR SELF. As long as your you thats all taht matters, There is no real you You are always you just sometime you finally get the gut to be confident and dsay whats on your mind. stop refering to your self as you and the real you. You are you and never were anyone else.
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