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16/f. I recently wrote a loooong thing about how my mom was making me mad. I was the one doing all the cleaning and stuff and they weren't doing anything.
Well, all week I've been doing some major cleaning (because thats all I EVER do...) and getting ready for this yard sale we're supposed to have on Saturday (which I keep thinking we're not going to have because thats how my parents are... they'll say that and then come Saturday they'll say "Oh we woke up too late" or "Lets just have it next saturday"). So I've been spending my last full week of vacation, inside, cleaning out things, etc. Today I talked to my cousin about how we were going to Disneyland Saturday night (we're passholders) after the yardsale since she was coming home after 2 weeks with her dad. Since her dad is at the half way point from our house and Disneyland, she asked if I would pick her up on the way. I said of course since it was on the way and it would be helping her dad out with gas and all. Meanwhile, I wasn't even planning on staying outside doing the yard sale since I've been getting everything ready, doing all the cleaning all by myself. I didn't think my parents would make me do the yardsale since I've been doing all that. Well, I go in the computer room (where else would my mom be?) to tell my mom how I would pick my cousin up on the way. She said "No, no, no, no... you have to help with the yard sale". I tell her how I've been cleaning and I didn't think I had to stay out there. And she said that they would need me (my mom and dad will be there, why do they absolutely need me?). Then I told her, that we were going at night anyways and she was like "Well, I don't want you to be obligated with picking your cousin up." Yardsales usually end at like 3 or 4 and I was going to pick her up around 5 or 6 and head over to Disneyland. And she was like "Call her and tell her you can't do it". I told her I didn't want to, it was pointless since I was going to anyways whether I was tired or not (she said "What if you get too tired at the yard sale?"). And she said she would call her and tell her, herself. Then she tells me, not to tell my cousin any of this... if I talked to her, don't have an attitude or anything (basically, don't tell her how you feel). She wanted to make it seem that I couldn't pick her up (I drive my own car btw...) because I was going to be too tired (which isn't likely). Well, I talked to my cousin later on and she was like "What is up with your mom? She's being stupid... I ended up getting mad at her and hanging up on her. She basically screwed up the whole situation since I already told my dad that you would pick me up, now my dad has to waste gas on taking me home and its stupid since picking me up is on the way to Disneyland.". My mom never said I COULDN'T pick her up. She just said she didn't want me telling her I can because if I 'got too tired'. So she basically called my cousin and said "No, she can't pick you up". But I'm going to do it, since I already told her (even after my mom called her) I would, because we already made plans on going to Disneyland that night of the day she came back (which would be saturday). My question is, is my mom being unfair? I've spent this entire week cleaning the entire house (and this isn't the only time, I'm supposed to clean the house every day--but this week I have to clean and clear out things for this yard sale by myself) and I make plans/ask to go to Disneyland on the same day as the yard sale (its not even the same time) or to go pick up my cousin and she's basically saying "Don't make plans on Saturday because we're having the yard sale". I'VE CLEANED THIS ENTIRE WEEK. Sure she works from 9-5 but she doesn't go to bed until 12:30 because she's on ebay. Why can't she take time off to help me clean? And then I have to help with the stupid yard sale and I just think the whole thing is unfair. And this isn't the only time she's told me to tell people certain things. Anytime I accidentally tell someone something, like "Oh yea, you can borrow it" she'll say "Just tell them that you can't find it... I didn't want to you go and lend that out, its brand new. Tell them that." So I tell my cousin "Yea, I'll pick you up on the way to Disneyland" and she says "Just tell her you can't go on Saturday, you'll be too tired after the yard sale. Nevermind, I'll tell her". I know she's my mother and I know she has a say so in what I do, but isn't that a little too much for a 16 year old? I'd never tell her "No, I'm not going to do that" or "Well, I'm going to do it anyways!" because she's my mom... but isn't she being a little ridiculous? And when I try to tell her that I start school on wednesday and I want to be able to go out, she just keeps saying "I know! Just don't make plans on Saturday". Then she gets me all worked up and I start yelling, she starts yelling and I end up going to my room crying because she won't listen to me. When I say "Excuse me?! Can I talk?!" She shuts up and looks away at the computer screen. She won't even look at me when I try to talk and get my feelings out. I don't know what to do anymore. I went to my room and wrote out a long thing about how I felt on paper, but that barely helped. I can't talk to my father, because he's always been the type who'll listen to me, but since its his wife he feels obligated to take her side. He always falls asleep after work downstairs while all of this goes on upstairs, so he has no clue whats going on, except my mom probably told him when they went out to dinner this afternoon. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no one to talk to about all this, so I keep everything inside of me. I've tried writing my feelings down, crying it all out, punching pillows, nothing helps. When I've talked to my cousin about it, she'll back me up and then my mom gets mad at me, so she's always like "When you talk to your cousin, don't have an attitude or talk negative" blah blah blah. Her and my cousin are close (she's like a second mom to my cousin, we're all close), but she'll be on my side and back me up. Right now she's even pissed at my mom. What the hell am I supposed to do? what should I tell my mom? She never listens to me and she always shuts me off. I can't stop crying... sorry this is so long.
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Well, I think you are living in an unfare anviorment, and your mom shoul get a reality check. There are teen help line's that you can call to get help from. They will help you and your mom under tand each other and could help you get a better life. And about the disney thing, I would just not tell your ma anything and go. hope this helps, :) dont forget we are all ears for your troubles, or you can come to me, cjAdvice
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yeah, your mom is being unfair. she should loosen up.
do what you want to do. if she stops you, you have the right to live alone (at the age of 16 you have the right to do what you want to do that doesnt break tha law)
dont tell her your plans, dont talk to her. leave her alone.
what i did when my mom was addicted to the computer.. i took the dial up/phone jack, outt of the computer. she had no idea!!
hide the mouse also.....
you shouldnt be doing all of the cleaning!! thats unfair!! just dont clean, she doesnt deserve you to be a maid then boss you around!
you dont deserve a life like that. try talking to someone like your cusins mom or something... get some freedome for once!
sorryy hunn, this is life
Kiss me ♥
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Awe, this has got to be really hard for you. I do feel that your mom is being unfair and unrealistic about this whole situation, as well. After you spent a whole week cleaning, and getting things ready for the yard sale, you still can't go where you want? That's really not rite. If you have been cleaning all week, and staying home..I can see why you are so mad. But if you have been going out all week after you stopped cleaning, then your mom might have a point. But as far as I can see you didn't go anywhere. One way you could try to talk to your mom would be by writing something on a piece of paper, and "accidentally" letting her find it and read it. Write down how you feel, and then maybe she'll take the time to read it, and try to understand how you feel. That's really bad that your mom tries to get you to lie to your friends and your family about things. If you are paying for gas, picking your cousin up, paying to get in to disneyland, and paying for everything there, I see NO reason that she shouldn't let you go! That sounds ridiculous to me! Especially if you are willing to help out at the yardsale all day! You could try to talk to your dad while your mom isn't home or if she is doing something else, and tell him what you had planned. Or just tell your cousin the truth! My mom doesn't always listen to me either, so I kinda know how you feel! Do you have any brothers or sisters that you could talk to? Or anyone else, for that matter. Just tell your mom that you will help out with the yardsale but then you are going to disneyland with your cousin. Tell her it's your money, your car, and your gas. And make sure you mention how much work you have been doing around the house and everything. Good Luck!
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