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How do you train yourself to feel platonically for a man you
I need advice on how to be platonic friends with a man. I'm not good at it, at all. I have met this man who I have pretty much fallen very hard for, but for various serious reasons on both sides, nothing can come of it. I think there is attraction on his side as well, but we have discussed it and we know it can only be a good friendship. I need to know, what are the best ways to gear my feelings down, and how do I keep a close friendship with this man without smothering the relationship or allowing the disallowed feelings to show? I'm a 37-year-old female.
Eliza
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I think that once you're interested in someone, it's pretty much impossible to undo it... keeping busy and staying away for a long time sometimes works, but not always. You can also try my favorite method, which is nit-picking at every stupid thing about him until you convince yourself you don't want him at all. I mean really, everybody's got their issues, right? Is he a bad cook? Sleep in too much? Have unusually wide thumbnails? Sometimes if I find enough little things that are bad about a person I can convince myself it'd never work out.
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Feelings are irrational. If you cannot discard them, then perhaps your best course of action is to attempt to locate a more suitable prospect and transfer your affections to him.
As for keeping your friendship, that should be relatively simple, assuming that both you and he are sincere and committed to keeping things as they are. If, however, one or both of you wish to engage in clandestine gamete exchange, the situation may get more complicated. To avoide that outcome, it would be best to socialize with him only when a herd of humans are present. The longer you spend with him as just one of many members of your friendship cohort, the easier it will be for your feelings to remain appropriate.
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