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humorist-workshop
just when i thought
about 3or4 days ago i started dating one of my best guy friends. we sort of had some sort of crush/flirt thing going on for a while. but starting an actual relationship with him never crossed my mind. until my cousin (who i recently found out was friends with him) started talking to him about "asking me out" and when he was going to and all that jazz. so when we hung out again. he asked me. it hasnt hit me until now that.. i dont want a relationship. but hurting him would be the last thing on my mind. hes been hurt before.. and is pretty sensative. so i dont know what to do. i know i should give it a chance.. but i dont want to wait to long. and start lying to myself about when im feeling. i dont know what im feeling.
anyone andive on what i could do?
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Tell him all of that. Sit him down and literally read to him what you just wrote. If you really don't want a relationship, tell him it's not because you don't like him, but because you don't feel ready [because really, you don't], and because as your best friend, would never want to hurt him. I'm sure he'll understand, because guys don't like the idea of risking it to get hurt. Explain to him that sometimes best friends last much longer than boy/girl friend relatioships. If something happend and you could not talk to each other for a while, once you did again, you would most likely be friends again. But if you went out and things didn't work out, there would be that chance that you would not be friends again.
The best thing to do would be to sort out your feelings. Don't agree to a relationship if you really don't have true feelings, because then you really would hurt him and maybe even yourself. Don't rush things, even though you don't want to wait too long. If you rush and don't think about things too much, then the relationship might actually last that long - short amount of time. Think things through and again, talk to him and tell him that. Don't shut him down, but let him know that you never thought about that, starting a serious relationship. Always be honest with yourself and him, wether you go out or remain friends. Good luck.
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If you honestly don't want a relationship, I would end it as soon as possible. Leading someone on always hurts more because you're giving them false hope for something that could never happen.
I would just tell him that you're afraid of having a relationship with him because his friendship means so much to you & you wouldn't want to do anything to ruin it.
I hope everything works out for the best & if you need anything else just leave it in my inbox - or if you ever need to talk just leave your screen name or email in my feedback & I'll contact you!
x33 ;; Always,
ADViCEx4xY0U =]
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It wouldn't be fair to him to string him along thinking he will have a relationship with you right now. Just tell him that while you do like him and care about him, you're just not ready to be in a relationship yet. Since it seems to me that your cousin talked him into asking you in the first place, he'll probably agree and want to take things slow himself.
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Well, you have good intentions of not wanting to hurt him? However, it's better to tell him that you dont really like him than going out with him just because you dont want to hurt his feelings.
You could wait a little while and see if you really do have feeling for him. Sorry if that wasn't much help. Good luck though!
-TORi
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