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Over Controlling Mother...
Well, my mother doesn't like me hanging with almost everyone that I want to be around. She always complains about every single person that I'm friends with or trying to be friends with she hates. She usually complains about their wealth, looks or just some other characteristic.
And just recently I've been banned from the mall for no reason at all.
Another thing they wont let me have a boyfriend, not even let me talk to boys on the phone. And I'm 13! I'ev already got some people asking if I'm... bi or lesbian :/ and I'm not. I have a boyfriend right now, secretly. But I want to know what to do in the means of going on dates and whatnot.
My mother always laughs at me when I bring the subject of boys up. It really lowers my self-confidence in a way. D: I don't know what to do...
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wow you sound just like me when i was 16...my mom was always down my back trying to live my life for me. she controled who my friends were and who i could hang out with and what days of the week i could go out, what activities i could do in school...everything. are you the oldest in your family or the first child?
you should sit down and have a talk with your mother and say look im 13 im growing up, do you remember what it was like when you were my age? most likely she will remember and that could open doors up for conversation so she can level with you and see things from your point of view.
explain to her that you need to make your own mistakes so you can grow and learn from them. you dont want to go to college and not know anything about anything. thats what happened with me, i was exposed to so many new things in my freshman year of college it was very hard and stressful.
ask her why she does not like your friends or you talking with boys.
the best thing to remember throughout this whole talk is to stay calm and not flip out as hard as that might be. this will show her your maturity you dont want to be yelling and screaming.
good luck!!
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A lot of moms don't like their children to grow up..I mean, every mom thinks that their child is a baby..You know what I meant??Like my mom, she said this to me "Even though you're now a teenager, you're still my baby!"Have you ever heard a mom said that to their child??That's what happened to me..And you know what??You have the same problem as me..My mom doesn't allow me to go to the mall with my friends!She will just allow me to go, if my grandma will go to the mall with me..I hate it..But, what can I do? She thinks that I'm still a little baby, and I know how much she loves me..So..I never can go out to everywhere with my friends..It's okay, just do what she tells you to..She will change someday..Hope I helped!
-ViTaChaN-
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I think all parents hate their kids friends when they start being teenagers... My mom did the same thing when I was 13. I think she probably thinks that this is the age where you're more likely to get mixed in with the wrong crowd and get into trouble, so she wants to keep you as far away from trouble as possible. Stupid, I know, but it gets better, trust me. As for being banned from the mall, if you did something at the mall to warrant a banning from security personel, then you should, indeed, be banned. If you're talking about your mom not trusting you to go there by yourself, that's another issue. If you really want to go to the mall, just go with your mom, no matter how embarassing you think it is. You'll go if you really want the shopping that badly. Not allowing you to even talk to boys on the phone seems a little strict, even for the most overprotective of parents... I can see why they don't want you to have a boyfriend because dating in junior high is rather pointless. Everyone does it, but it's not the same thing as dating when you get older. Your boyfriend can't ususally pay for the things that guys traditionally pay for, he can't pick you up in his OWN car.. without his parents, etc. I wouldn't reccomend sneaking around to try to see this guy outside of school. In the end, you'll always get caught for sneaking around and it's not worth it. If your school has dances, that would be a good oppertunity to see your boyfriend.
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Well, this is a rare situation but not too rare. Alot of mothers don't like there little "baby" to grow up. Try talking to her about saying you are growing up or do more chores to show you that you are responsible with boys and other friends. Also, ask your mother when she started liking boys, it will probably be around the same age, she may then realize her mistake.
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