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humorist-workshop
sorry this is going to be long... but i really need help!! me and this guy (we'll call him chris) have been "together" i guess you could say for about 3 months.... well last night i found out my best friend broke a truce we made a while ago... we both said we'd never smoke weed, and she did all bc she got a new bf...well i told chris about it and he ended up talkin to her online... she told him i took 6 sleeping pills earlier... (which i told her, bc i wanted her to know how i felt) (i really only took 1 tho bc i havnt slept in 4 days... im an insomniac) well chris got really upset and yelled at me about how stupid it was... (he asked about the pills and i told him 6 bc i didnt want him to tell her otherwise) so he screamed at me for bein so stupid.. and he hung up, then he told his mom about it. so now i dont think his momll let us see each otehr again... but also i dont think he wants to talk to me... i told him the truth about me only taking one pill...and he was upset hes like well why didnt you tell me before... and i was like bc i knew you would tell her and i want her to understand the way i feel... ive already apoligized to him about makin him freak out over nothing... and now he wont talk to me, so i need help, likeon what to do... what to tell him.. please help.
((me and my best friend are no longer on talking terms bc i felt like she had taken it too far, and she had ruined everythin we had... but what i mostly need to know is what to do about chris... please help!! and thank you so much!!.))
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Alright, this situation is a difficult one but easily solvable depending on your bf and his reaction. Obviously you taking 6 sleeping pills scared the shit out of him, because in his mind its basically like you were taking 6 to try and kill yourself. And your best friend either let him know that because she cared too, or because she wished to sabotage your relationship. If she did it to try to break you guys up, then I would be very wary of her and her intentions. Think: Does he still talk to her? Is there anything she could be telling him to make him never want to talk to you? And also think about your friendship with her: Is your friendship more important to you, or is it of little significance to you that you would let one broken promise tear you guys apart? I've been in this situation. My own sister started trying weed and we had promised eachother that we would never do that. My sister and me are close as hell, and are eachothers best friends, so when she did that it not only hurt me but pissed me off, because she broke a promise, and she seemed "proud" of herself, like it was cool or something. I ended up trying it once and then another time with my sister, and it never did anything to me. It was stupid so I made her swear to never try it again. I understood why she tried it though. She did because she wanted to try it, because she had never done that before and everyone makes a big deal about it. And she was curious. Well she ended up doing it again and I told her she better fucking stop and I started dissing her bad, saying shit like: "You're going to be so damn stupid this year because of that, and you might not realize it now, but your brain cells are being killed everytime you use it and in the end you are just going to be known as a pot smoking idiot!" And she took the insult harshly but understood that I was right. She says it doesn't do anything to her, so why do it then, right? So just think: Is there any promise you ever made to your best friend that you broke and she forgave you about? Maybe you should rethink your attitude towards her. If she tried it to try it then she still broke that promise, but aren't we all humans? Don't we all make mistakes. I suggest apologizing to her and then letting her know that you didn't take 6 sleeping pills. The main problem in this situation was your drive to make everything more dramatic. You wanted to show your best friend that her stupid mistake was hurting you and making you make stupid mistakes. And that innocent little white lie has just erupted into a big problem. So undo that lie and bring out the truth. She might be pissed at you for lying at first, but does she really have a right to be pissed at you for lying when she lied to you too? She sure as hell doesn't. But then again that goes for you too. She lied and broke a promise, and then you lied to make her feel real bad about it. So tell her the truth. Tell her you are sorry for freaking out and being all pissed about her doing pot and let her know that you only got mad because you promised eachother that you would never do that and she did. Then drop the bomb. Tell her that you were so upset about what she did that you said you took 6 pills when you really didn't and you only took 1. Tell her your sorry for lying but you wanted her to see that her potentially dangerous mistake of doing weed could cause more pain to others than she even realized. If she is understanding and you guys are good friends, then this little mistake should blow over. And after you guys have everything settled, make a new promise to eachother. Let her know calmly that you don't feel at all comfortable with what she is doing and you are just being her friend by letting her know how you feel. And if she is a good friend she will understand this. Now about your bf. He cares about you alot and you saying this scares him because he doesn't want to lose you. And then when he finds out you lied about it, he not only feels stupid for freaking out but he feel betrayed, because you couldn't even trust him enough to tell him the truth. This situation happened with my sister. Her bf lied to her and said that he has fucked two different girls last night to get her reaction. And she broke up with him. Then he called back getting pissed at her for not trusting him and he said, "She should've known I would never do a thing like that!" But I had to explain to him, that she DID trust him, because when someone says something like that what is she suppose to think. That he is just fucking around with her and being funny. Anyone's first instinct would be to get pissed and not want to talk to that person ever again. Your situation is not as bad of a situation but the same rules apply. He has EVERY right to be mad at you. You lied to him, and by doing that he is going to have a hard time trusting you. Its like the boy that cried wolf. (If your not familar with this story I'll briefly tell it) He said there was a wolf coming into the town 2 times and the town got scared and hid in their homes, later to find out the boy was just lying about it thinking it was funny. So the third time a wolf was actually coming and again the boy cried "WOLF!" But did anyone listen to him? Nope. So when you talk to him be very apologetic. Say something like, "Look Chris, I'm so sorry for saying what I said. I should've told you the truth about the pills, but I didn't want my best friend to know that I only took 1. I wanted her to think I took 6 so she could see that her actions have consequesnces not only for herself, but to other people that care about her too. And I shouldn't have done that. I've already told her what I had lied about. And I'm really sorry I lied to you more than anyone. You have every right to be mad at me. I made you think I had done something stupid and I am wrong for putting you through that. I know for a fact I would hate it if you put me through that. Please forgive me for what I did. I'm really sorry and I promise to be truthful to you from now on." Hopefully he accepts the apology and moves forward. But I don't know how your bf is or how your best friend is either. So I wish you all the best and if anything else happens, be sure to note my inbox back for more advice. I hope everything works out for you. Sorry this advice is so long, I just had alot to comment about. Good Luck!
~Sherah
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