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I cant make them understand
Ive been hangin out with my guy friends and they all know that i just go out of that relationship. I thought i made it clear that i refuse to be on "rebound". Though ive managed to shoot my foot and 2 of my friends took my hangin out with them as a sign that i wanted to be with them. Ive already told them what i am doing and that im sorry i lead them on in whichever manner. One of them understands, but is still upset, the other wont leave well enough alone. I dont want to hurt either of them and im in a rock and a hard spot. Ive been meaning to give one of them a chance but i refuse to at this time. What do i do im really tired and i dont want to hurt either of them...
Sincerly,
Baffled Yet Again
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Baffled,
I feel your pain. Sadly, yes. I understand what you're going through. Some guys just don't seem to understand that when you hang out with them, you're just hanging out! I know a kid like that... he thought that because we took SATs in the same room, and sat at the same table (along with five other people) I wanted to be "his." This kid is utterly repulsing to me, and I don't even hang out with him! He would IM me and call me "babe" and things like that. I had to tell him (quite firmly, might I add) that I had a boyfriend who I loved and did not want to leave. He wouldn't leave me alone, so I had my boyfriend talk to him. After which, I blocked him. I know your situation is slightly different, but maybe you should try the same tactic? Be very firm and tell him that you like him as a friend - nothing more. Do you have a boyfriend? If so, why don't you ask him to talk to this dude you hang out with, and talk to him.. that way you've got someone backing you up. If you don't have a boyfriend, don't sweat it. Be VERY firm. Tell this boy that you appreciate him liking you, but it'll have to wait. Let him know that you're uniterested in him as more than a friend. Tell him WHY also. Family rules, promises to friends, religion, whatever -- it'll make it easier for him to understand. If he refuses to listen to you, tell him (straight up) that you're not going to put up with him acting that way. If you need to, tell him that you need to take a break from him and temporarily (a few weeks at most) limit contact with him, then resume your friendship. Maybe this will get it through his thick skull? Start bringing girl-friends into your hanging out sessions, that way your guy friend has no bias for saying that you 'wanna be with him.'
I'm sorry you're stuck in this... must stink... I hope he understands!
-FunnyCide
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