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this is for class,is this good?
On October 22 at 7:48 p.m., Mrs. Johnson heard a loud band from her neighbors’ house. She gasped when she heard the terrible scream of Mr. Johnson emerge from across the street and immediately dialed 911. “I heard a gunshot in the Cathaways’ house. Please..hurry,”she answered, trembling with fright. She looked towards the sound of the shotgun and saw through a gap in the curtains-someone in a black cloak.
A few minutes later, she heard the police siren speeding towards the Cathaways’ home. Several policemen entered the red-brick house. One officer went to Mrs. Johnson for questioning. Later, Mrs. Johnson saw Sam Cathaway being pulled out. His red face was blotchy and his cheeks were tearstained. She wondered what had happened; why were they taking Sam away? What did Sam do to his father? And most of all, what happened to Mr. Cathaway?
Sam Cathaway- He is accused for the murder of his father. He was found holding a gun, sobbing, on the night of the murder next to his father’s dead body. He keeps saying that he is innocent and would never have done such a dreadful thing. He loved his father very much, despite their horrible relationship, and would’ve never killed him.Unfortunately, Sam is also known to be in a gang and has been caught committing minor crimes before, such as vandalizing the city. Sam actually owns a black cloak from a Halloween costume many years ago.
Mrs. Cathaway- She accuses Sam, her own son, of shooting Mr. Cathaway, since nobody else was in the house. She got home from the supermarket after the murder to find Sam and Mr. Cathaway both on the ground, in a puddle of blood. She says that she has never trusted her son, but always loved her husband. Nevertheless, she didn’t get along very well with either of them. She, on the other hand, also owns a black cloak of her own.
Mr. Cathaway- He was shot to death 2 times; once in the heart and once in the head. His murderer is unknown at the moment. The suspects at the moment are Sam and Mrs. Cathaway. He didn’t have a good relationship with any of his family members though.
Mrs. Johnson- She is a witness of the crime and suspects it was Mrs. Cathaway since the person in the black cloak looked as if it had a more womanly figure. She is not absolutely positive though, and the black cloak can be found nowhere.
Mr. Supply- He will be defending Samuel, accuse Mrs. Cathaway of murdering Mr. Cathaway.
Mr. D. Emand- He will be prosecuting Sam
However, the black cloak was found, buried alongside an apple tree in the backyard of an abandoned house by dogs. There was a strand of hair on it, and it belonged to Mrs. Cathaway.
IS THAT GOOD!!!
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It seems fine to me. Though, I'm not QUITE shoRe I undeRstand the puRpose of the papeR. Does it fit the RequiRements?? If so, I'm shoRe you'll do good. You could betteR blend the fiRst thRee sentences, so if you can figuRe out how to do that.. that would make it MUCH betteR. Also, I was amazed at how you added comas wheRe needed afteR quotations. Nice job, Kid. :D
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I am assuming that this is for an English class, and you needed it to be grammatically correct. So I made some changes so that the english grammer is more proper, but I did not change your overall story. I hope this is what you were looking for. It is a great story, and I Hope I helped..... Michele
On October 22 at 7:48 p.m., Mrs. Johnson heard a loud bang from her neighbors’ house. She gasped, it sounded like a gun! Then she heard the terrible scream. It sounded like Mr. Cathaway! Mrs. Johnson immediately dialed 911. “I heard a gunshot at the Cathaways’ house. Please..hurry,” she answered, trembling with fright. She looked towards the sound of the shotgun and saw through a gap in the curtains-someone in a black cloak leaving the house.
A few minutes later, she heard the police siren speeding towards the Cathaways’ home. Several policemen entered the red-brick house. One officer went to Mrs. Johnson home to question her. Later, Mrs. Johnson saw Sam Cathaway, the couple’s only son, being escorted out of the house by two policemen. His face was blotchy and his cheeks were tearstained. He looked scared. She wondered what had happened; why were they taking Sam away? What happened inside the house?
The morning papers carried the full story. Sam Cathaway, the son, is being held on suspicion of murder of his father. The paper said he was found holding a gun, sobbing, standing above his father’s dead body. Sam claims he is innocent and would never have done such a dreadful thing. He loved his father very much, despite their strained relationship, he would never have killed his father.
Unfortunately for Sam, he has a criminal record and is a known gang member. He has been arrested before for petty crime and vandalism. Nothing major, and claims he was starting to turn his life around, and his father was part of the reason. In addition, Sam actually owns a black cloak that goes to a Halloween costume that many people from the neighborhood saw him wearing one Halloween, a few years ago.
Mrs. Cathaway- has also been questioned, and she claims Sam, her own son, is the person who shot her husband. While she can’t believe that this has really happened, she claims that her son and her husband had a difficult relationship, and nobody else was in the house when her husband was shot. She got home from the supermarket after the murder to find Sam and Mr. Cathaway both on the ground, in a puddle of blood. She said that recently she had grown to mistrust her son, and was always getting in the middle of their fights in an effort to stop them. She loves her husband very much, and would never harm him, herself.
In reality, all the neighbors knew that the three of them argued, fought, and made threats of bodily harm to each other, all of the time. On the other hand, Mrs. Cathaway also had access to the black cloak.
Mr. Cathaway- He was shot twice; once in the heart and once in the head. Either shot could have caused his death, within seconds. For the moment, no one has been charged with his murder. The only suspects are Sam, the son and Mrs. Cathaway the wife. Mr. Cathaway didn’t have a good relationship with any of his family members.
Mrs. Johnson- She is a witness to the crime and suspects it was Mrs. Cathaway since the person in the black cloak appeared to be about 5 feet 2 inches, while Sam, their son, is over 6 ft tall. She is not absolutely positive though, as it was night time, and the person fled away quickly.
Attorney Supply- He will be defending Sam. He is going to try to prepare a case accusing Mrs. Cathaway of the murder.
Attorney. D. Emand- He will be the prosecuting attorney. His job will be to make the case against Sam, and make it stick.
Further evidence in the case is this: Some neighborhood dogs found the black cloak. It was buried alongside an apple tree in the backyard of an abandoned house. Forensics found a strand of hair on it, and it belongs to Mrs. Cathaway.
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Ooh that's REALLY GOOD!! =) That will be a really good thing for class!! =)
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