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please do not delete this .. i am not trying to make you look bad i just need to know this to link your answer to my own life. as a mother, have you ever lied to your children? (besides little lies like Santa Claus)
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I didn't even lie about santa claus. I just used to say that Moms and Dads help Santa bring gifts to kids. There is one thing I lie about and that is my experience as a teenager with drugs and alcohol and sex. Well personally I don't think it's any of their business. And I didn't do a lot ofthose things, in other words I didn't abuse them, but like a lot of kids from the 60's I experimented. A lot of kids that I went to school with are dead today though because of drugs or AIDS from sharing needles. I grew up in Milford CT which was actually mentioned in some books from those days about the drug culture as being a stopping point between NY and Boston for buy and sell drugs. So there was plenty around.
I have two boys, and well I guess they don't ask that many questions of their mom. It have been different if I had a daughter. I don't believe in sugar coating things though. I tell my kids the facts when they ask. I believe in answering questions with the truth. They know how I feel about drugs now, and young teens experimenting with sex. I never told my kids that NO, NO, NO, NO. I like to believe that I told them well if you do.....this is what can happen. And when a person we knew, got themselves in trouble, I would share the information with them, even if it was upsetting. A girl friend of mine her son, when he was 19, got his girlfriend pregnant. She wantd to abort the baby. My girlfriend, being a devout catholic, wanted to raise the child herself She begged her not to abort it. But of course it is the mothers choice. She cried, we both cried. I knew how bad she felt. I shared the incident with my boys so that they could understand the emotions that are involved and how traumatic it can be, for just a few minutes of pleasure (before you are ready to handle the consequences) can be devastating for the rest of someone's life.
I guess what I really want to get across to kids here today on this column, is that sure, anything goes, when you are mature enough to handle it. So that mean, if you are going to have sex, you are on birth control. If you are going to drink, then you must be of legal age and not be driving. These are laws that adults have to live with, and kids want to be "grown up" so bad, but they don't take responsibility. I really went on and on, sorry about that. Please feel free to ask me anything you like.
Michele
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