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Slippin.....
hey Chloe!!! first, i love you!!! lol and second, u'll kno who this is soon.... but anyway... i really seem to be slippin off the edge of life... it seemed for awhile that i had finally found that filler-of-all-holes in Jesus a couple of months ago and i kno that truly, i did... but after the smoky facades and fake lives settle, the emptiness remains... now it's almost unbearable.. i'ma true warrior and i always push thru but lately the silence has grown truly deafening, considering the fact that i'm cooped up all day with no outside connections and no way to get any... plus, i don't know who i am any more... over the past 9 months i've gone from one facade to the other and i haven't found one that fits yet... whether it be black or light hanging on me, anytime i look in the mirror, darkness seems to be enveloping and engulfing my image, even my words... u've prolly already sensed it just in reading this... and i lost my 3rd girlfriend about... umm, 2-ish months ago and recently i've finally begun to appreciate the gap that she once filled... with no one to talk to or to love, including myself, and nothing to free myself, i now know not what to do... please help me mah lil sis...
Psalm 6:1-3/6-7 O Lord, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? / I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.
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Gah this is really hard.. Im gunna pray for you.. I've been praying for you for awhile though. I was at church Wednesday and the speaker at West Jackson told us that you need someone praying for you at all times. Whether you are in a time of need or not. I think you are just going through a challenge that God is putting you through. God will only put you through the struggles that you can handle. SO trust me you can handle this! I'll even help you and walk through all of it with you.. Just say the word and I'll be there.. you know it. Gah this is almost making me cry because I've been where you are.. Life can be so hard. I love you man! and I'll be helping you every inch of the way!
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