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Sordid Love Polygon: What should I do?
I’m a (female) high school senior, and I'm "one of the guys.” For a while now, I've had a big crush on Alan, my best friend at my school, the quarterback. He’s a jerk and a player, but a great friend.
For about a year he dated a popular younger girl, Bella. Recently, he asked our mutual friend Naomi to Prom, and Bella dumped him. He and Naomi immediately hooked up. However, he began leading me on big time, and I kissed him. It was a dumb move, but it doesn't seem to have damaged my friendship with anyone, not even him.
Now, though, he's dumping Naomi to go back to Bella, and I’m going nuts. It's not that I want to be with him--I know it'd never work out, and I'd rather stay his friend… but he’s hurting. He's been miserable for two weeks: pale, sickly, and sad. Naomi's nearly lost her head, when normally she's so cool and calm. I’m not close to Bella, but she’s hurt and that hurts me too. Everyone is miserable and it's killing me. I love Naomi and Alan as friends, and I can't bear to see them suffer.
Further, Naomi's friends Jennie and Jackie are making life a living purgatory for all of us. Jennie and Jackie are just plain malicious toward Alan (and I can't blame them). Jackie, in addition to using this to get back at her hated rival Alan, is using the opportunity to move in on me. She seems to have a huge crush on me, but can only express it in “Helga” fashion by bullying me. The girls’ meddling boils my blood, and watching them manipulate both Naomi and Alan behind their backs makes me suffer almost as much as the bad blood between the two star-crossed lovers.
All I really want is to come out of this with Alan’s friendship, and to restore the happiness of Al, Naomi, and possibly Jennie. I can no longer bear to watch them suffer; it’s killing me, I hate to see my friends so sad. There must be something I can do; some way to make things right, but I can’t find it. What can I do to help them?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It sucks seeing your friends in such a bad position... just be there for them... that's usually all friends want is to have someone to be there for them... And for the Alan situation, tell him how you feel. You need to be able to be honest with him... If you dont want to come right out with it give him really big signals, just not around Bella. It might take him a while to break up with Bella, but i bet if/when they DO break up he'll come after you if he really does like you!!!
hope i helped!
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i understand that you dont like seeing them in this situation... but sometimes it is best to sit back and let them work it out by themselves. if you get into it, you will end up in that whole mess and you dont want that to happen. just sit back and you need to be each one of their friends individually. they all need a friend and you could be that one that is there to talk to for them. but whatever you do, dont try to "patch thing s up" with your friends. the best thign you could do is let nature work its course. you just be there for them if thy need you but DONT GET IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!!
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