|
Update
I wrote to you before about my girlfriend and her situation with her father. I talked to her in private and she told me that he did beat her and that he also raped her. She said that she's afraid to tell anyone else though because he told her that if she did say anything that no one would believe her and he would kill her. I didn't know this but the other times when I convinced her to go for help he beat her severly after it, so she's really afraid now. Even if he is arrested he has a lot of money so he can just bail himself out and then hurt her more. She's out of the hospital now and she's been staying with me but he threatened to call the cops on her for running away if she doesn't go home and I can't let her go back with him. She's really weak right now I've got her to start eating and she hasn't done any drugs or drank since she's been here but she's still weak and I don't think that her body could handle it if he hurt her again. If he hits her and I see it could I hit him because she can't defend herself or would that be illegal for me to do?
I want to thank you for giving me advice before I was ready to kill him and now I'm glad that I didn't because I was able to at least protect her from getting beat for a while. Thank you.
Tom
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Tom, I am glad that you wrote back. How old is your girl friend? I am sure that if she stands up to him, he can get him arrested, and yes he can bail himself out, but she can get a restraining order against him. But it is only a piece of paper. And with the restraining order, she cannot live with him, the question is where will she go. If she is a minor, they may put her in foster care. While I don't think she will be in danger there, she is so weak, and so depressed, she won't get stronger there either. does she have a female relative that she can go live with. This is Key. Can your mother take her in, and become her guardian. Or are you over 18. It seems to me that if she is 16 or older and she tells them that he beat her and raped her, they will have to believe her, and if she says she wants to stay with you and your parents and your parents are OK with that, that may be alright too, but if she is 13, or 14, the authorities may not take into consideration, her preferences, and just get her away from her father. But once that does happen, she has to get strong, She has to stand up for herself. It has to come from her, it can't come from you. Yes you can defend her if he tries to hurt her in front of you, and if you come out of it with a fat lip, all the better. There is the evidence they need to arrest him for assault on you. Which actually will get him in more trouble than assaulting her, (as you both know by now) Her dad can force the issue into court where she will be exected to say in front of the judge and court and HIM, that yes he did beat her and he did rape her, and if she backs out, they will take his word for it that she is just a problem teen, and give her back to him. THE ONLY WAY SHE WILL BE FREE OF HIM, IS TO STAND UP TO HIM IN COURT. I only hope for both your sakes, that she is old enought to stay with some relatives or you and your family, and not spend the next three or four years in foster care. It would just add more problems on top of the ones her dad has already given her.
It is good that he is staying away from her for now, and he know that she is at your house and he hasn't done anything yet, but he is thinking and planning. He wants her back. You have your work cut out for you. You have to be strong for her, and supportive, but you also have to give her strenght.
God bless you. I hope you both survive this.
Michele
I'll keep checking back to see if you have written again
]
More Questions:<<< Previous Question: Red eye
| Next Question >>> idk
|
|