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i'm 15/f and ive been doin drugs and drinkin since i was 9 i kno it's wrong but its hard for me not to do it its how i get away from life i don't think my life is horrible or anythin my friends think that it is tho...my parents both drink and do drugs and sometimes my dad can be abusive but its not a big deal...anyway my friend found out about it and he keeps asking me to stop and get help but im really nervous bout it ive went for help before and no one would help me...i dont think that i can stop i dont kno how. i kno he'll be there for me but i jus dont kno and im really scared of whats goin to happen if i do stop...what should i do?
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Hi Honey,
I am sorry that you find it necessary to do drugs so much. And you say that it is not that bad for you at home, but I think you are wrong. You say you tried to stop before, but no one would help you. When you want to stop doing drugs you really have to help yourself, maybe the people you were involved with felt that you were not committed enough. There are soooooo many people who really want to stop. sometimes they are older, and have more to loose than you do, because they have jobs, or kids, or possessions, or spouses who are about to leave them. I really think that your parents have a lot to do with why you do drugs. NOt because you are copying them, but because they are not there for you emotionally, because they are high. They are not good parents. Kids need all kinds of time, assurance, security, encouragement, and love from their parents. Kids need attention. Being high on drugs yourself, keeps your feelings, needs and wants suppressed, so that let's your parents off the hook. I think your problems are going to get much worse, real soon. What if you get arrested, you are young, so you probably won't end up in jail, but you could end up with a record that will follow you the rest of your life.
This much I know for sure, if you have been managing to obtain drugs and get high since you were nine years old, I would say that you are a very smart, resoursful and accomplished individual. What if you put all that energy into getting an education, and used your knowledge and experience to help other people. Here is my suggestion. Lets start small, and take baby steps. First get hold of this book. TOXIC PARENTS by Dr. Susan Forward. This book saved my life. When I read this book, I realized that I was not as bad as my parents kept telling me that I was. They were the one with the problems. My parents drank a lot, and we kids took drugs. There was fighting, suicide attempts, etc. etc. A lot of suppressed anger. And of course we kids were always, always the ones with the problems. They, of course, were perfect. Please read this book, then re-think whether or not you want to continue this course of using drugs. If you find the strenght to change your mind and seek help again. I think the people who are out there to help people like you will realize that you are serious this time.
This book has been out for a long time, so it is not expensive. I may be out in paperback. It was the first book I read that told me that I wasn't crazy. I started to treat myself better. The way I should have been treated by my parents, when I was growing up.
I hope you take this advice. It will change your life, for the better. Then if you like that book, try Co-Dependent No MOre, my Melody Beatty.
Then try Adult Children of Alcoholic meetings, or even books on that subject, there are a lot of them.
I wish you well. Write again if you like.
Michele
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