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ok, i used to be really big into drugs i did them all i don't think there's a drug that i didn't try but my best friend convinced me that it's bad and i've been clean for 2 years now but now i have a new bf and he's been starting to use and i'm afraid that if i'm around that that i'll start again and i really don't want that life anymore. the problem is i love him and i don't want to leave him just because he's been using but i can't convince him to stop is there a way that i can solve this without leaving him?
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NO, I am sorry there isn't. But you are not the first person to ask, or the first person to try. But you still have a chance at a happy life. You are not married to this person, you do not have children with him, but some day I know you want to get married and start a family, and if you love him so much, I am sure that those thoughts have crossed your mind. I wish I could gather here to talk to you all the women I know who are married to men who take drugs, and honey believe me, if they could go back in life to the point that you are at....loving him, wanting to help, not wanting to abandon him, thinking you can change him, love conquers all......well they have found out the hard way that it does not work that way. They suffer and their children suffer and even the addict suffers, but since he is the once choosing to do drugs, he should be suffering alone, trouble is, misery loves company.
No one, and I mean NO ONE, has ever stopped doing drugs for someone else, they only stop for themselves, they have to want to, and some have to want to pretty bad. Meaning they have to go through hell before they are convinced that drugs is not the way to go. And some don't make it.
You should only support him if he is going for help. if he is using and thinks he is OK, nothing will happen to him (and you know better), then you should leave. As nice as you are, and as kind and caring....please find someone who will appreciate your concern, not someone who will use up all your kindness and caring until you are an empty shell.
You are on the right track. 2 years drug free is awesome. Set some goals for yourself. Life is wonderful. No good ever came from giving yourself up for someone who is living in a fog.
I know because you have been there, you think you understand him. And while you believe it is not good to take drugs, you don't "OWN IT" yet. You don't own that belief. You have not made it part of your belief system. For what, for a guy, you say you love...but he is not capable of loving you back. He can't until he also owns the belief that drugs are not the way to go. You could end up worse off. He could drain from you all you have to give, all the life that is left in you and still be taking drugs when he is trough with you,or when you have had enough. I say, run as fast as you can in the other direction. And I say that because I care about what happens to you.
Michele
I hope this helped
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