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abuse
ok, i have a friend who has been getting beat by her parents since she could walk maybe even before that but because of it she's been doing drugs, cutting, she doesn't eat, she can't sleep, she drinks and smokes she just does anything to get away from it she's been in and out of hospitals her whole life because she's hurt herself or because her dad has hurt her I think he's even raped her. I call her all the time to make sure she's ok and i called her one time and she was either drunk or high i don't know which one but she was out of it and when she's like that it's the only time she's open about how she feels and she tells me everything that's going on i feel bad and i try to stop her from saying too much but i think it's better that she tells me rather than someone else but anyways i've convinced her to try and get helped and she went to the cops and DSS and the school and everyone but no one will help her because she's done some stupid things so they believe her father over her. She's given up completely she's stopped trying all together it's like she doesn't care anymore she always says she's fine and doesn't want help but she needs help i'm afraid she's really going to hurt herself or he's going to end up killing her but no one will help her. who could i talk to to get her help and how do i keep her from hurting herself until i can find her some real help?...i'm sorry it's so long but i'm really worried about her
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I am so glad you care enough about your friend to try and help her and im even happier you came to me for advice...now this is a serious issue as you can see and its really complex to. this issue needs alot of attention and if its not taken care of your friend might seriously hurt herself or her parents might hurt her and that is an experience no one should have to indure...so my advice to you is incourage your friend to talk to you about this issue because she needs to know someone is their for her even if she denies that anything is wrong with her still let her know your there continiously because deep down inside for her thats exactly what she needs even if she does not show it...next i found a couple of hotlines you can call but since i was not sure where you lived i wasnt able to find numbers that might be in your area so what you can do is call each place and tell them what area you live in and most likley they can redirect you to a place nearest your area:
_ABUSE HOTLINES_
ABUSED WOMENS HOTLINE---215-885-5020
CHILD ABUSE PREVENTION---215-831-8877
DOMESTIC ABUSE PROJECT OF DELAWARE COUNTY--610-565-6272
YOUTH CRISIT--1-800-448-4663
also if your friend has a drinking or drug proble i though you might want to get her help for that to so i found you a number:
RELATIVES AND FRIENDS OF ADDICTED LOVED ONES--800-678-4989
your friend is not alone in what shes going through but i know she feels as though she is i can understand why she just gave up because the struggle she has gone through has been hard enough for her and people turning her away just made her loose all hope so she figures that she'll just go about her life living it how she's been living it and i know she denies it because for one she does not know how to express what shes going through and two she probably figures that if she doesnt talk about it her problem might eventually go away...now when you talk to your friend about this issue the worst thing you can do is tell her that the things shes doing is wrong, instead of telling her shes wrong in how she goes about handeling her situation explain to her other things she could do instead of what shes doing because telling someone that they are wrong for what they do only makes them feel as though you dont understand them, explain to your friend the consequenses or outcome of what will happen to her if she keeps doing what shes doing but dont make her feel as though she is wrong cause that will only make her feel worse,explain to her that she has alot to live for even if she doesnt realize it now.also what you wanna tell your friend is that you are there for her even if you told her before she needs to hear it more than once. another thing you should keep in mind is when shes expressing herself never cut her short or try to say anything wait till she is done talking to try and give her advice because sometimes all people want and need is someone to listen to them and if you cut her off before shes done that might make her shut done and thats not good.so all in all, all you can do for your friend is try and get her help from others and lend a ear to listen and a helping hand as much as you have the ability to, shes lucky she has a friend like you and believe me she needs you to stay strong and to keep her strong. theres only so much you can do but keep your head up and incourage your friend not to give up. it might be a long road but things will eventually get better even though they might not seem as though they are(you cant let one bad experience make you give up or quit cause if you do then you'll loose in this world...things are always gonna be hard but that doesnt mean you cant suceed)hope my advice helped!!!
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Well I do want to help, but I need more information. How old is your girlfriend? If she is old enough, she may be able to get help from a place that helps adult women who are abused. Husband or father, it is still a man who is overpowering someone who is weaker then them. And what state do you live in. And maybe also what city. Just write back and tell me this and I will try and give you some advice that you can use to helpl her.
Michele
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