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What’s wrong with my advice?
Yesterday I answered a question and I got I really mean and bad feedback for it when I was really trying to help and be nice and explain everything. So I was wondering what I did wrong because it really hurts me and I do care. And also is there a way to change my feedback because it really messes up my rating (I usually get 5s and now I got a 2)?
Here’s the question:
i go to this really preppy biotchy school in dc (all girls, private, kiss kiss) but anyway, i used ta be a really sweet person and like really focused and dedicated in life, but my school has really changed me...i find that i am really judgemental of people in a bad way...and i spend way too much time deciding what to wear and i do alot of trashy stuff with guys...what should i do?
Here’s the answer:
Dear,
It’s nice that you realize you have changed. Now one of the reasons why you changed might be that you seek the approval of the people around you and you feel the need to fit in. Or it might be that your friends influence you and as Oscar Wild said “There’s no such thing as good influence”. We are usually influenced by significant others which means that we are influenced by people like our parents, friends, movie stars and so on, people we respect (it’s a sociological fact, I am not just making it up).
So now if you want to be more like your old self, you should start being yourself and believe me I know how hard it can be sometimes. Do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and speak your mind. If your friends are doing something you think is wrong then tell them and most of all do not do it just because they are doing it. Be who you want to be not who your classmates think you should be. It’s nice that you want to be a better person now you just have to get the courage to change.
Also about the judgmental part, try putting yourself in other people’s place before you judge them and try to find out the reasons behind their actions.
Changing takes time but that’s until it becomes a habit. So one day just say to yourself that you are going to be nice to people from that point on, so next time you want to make a remark that would hurt someone think how you would feel if you were in their shoes. Start being sympathetic, start making compliments and be encouraging even if you don’t feel like it and at first it will feel unnatural but after time it will become a part of you. There’s not a secret to changing, you’ve got to make an effort at first.
Good Luck!
This is the feedback (I got 2 for it):
Thank you for that condescending lecture. And thank you for reitterating my point: I do want to go back to being myself. Unfortunately, you have not supplied the requested HOW of the matter. Better luck next time, deeeaarrrr.
Please help! I rate high!
assia
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sometimes people just dont want to hear the truth! i know exactly how you feel!!!
same thing happens to me.
they just want you to tell them waht they wanna hear.
sorry!
always there-
kels
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Don't let it get to you, not everyone is going to agree with your advice. And sometimes people are just not ready to hear the truth. Don't worry about your ratings, a few bad ones show you are not afraid to speak your mind.
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People do not like the hear the truth sometimes. If you speak honestly and give them exactly what they need to hear, some people tend to get angry and tell you "don't lecture me"
I would not worry about it. Ratings do not mean anything. Especially if you get alost all fives, and then one little itty bitty 2.
I wouldn't worry about it. Continue to give your good, honest advice, and hope that it will get through to the intelligent people out there.
*EDIT*
I looked at that question. The person who asked it rated horribly, so I went through and changed some of them. Level 2 and 3 moderators can do that if we feel that there is a need to.
Also, this probably would have been a good question to send to the "Report Abuse" link. Next time provide a link to the specific question instead of just copying it here. We need specific links if you want us to investigate anything.
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