|
Um.. can you help me a bit?
Ok, I am kindof too shy to ask this to the "pool" because people I know are here... you understand? Thanks in advance.. sorry it's so long..
Ok, I'm 14/f, and I know that's really young, but I have "guy problems". Two guys, one girl, and myself are involved. My best friend "sister", Jacki*, liked my best friend that's a guy, Nate*. Nate also liked Jacki, for a while. I liked this guy, Pete*, for a while, and he liked me. All well and good, eh? Not so. You see, Jacki doesn't like Nate anymore, nor does Nate like Jacki. Pete still likes me, and I suppose I like him a bit still. But, I've always had underlying feelings for Nate, but I'd put them in the back of my mind 'cause it was Jacki's turn to shine. But now, Nate likes me, and so does Pete. Problem is, Nate and Pete are still friends. I don't know what to do, 'cause I know - and love - Nate very well.. and I like Pete. But I sortof see Pete as a "brother". I don't want to do something dumb that would make everyone mad.. and I don't want Jacki's feelings hurt. (we all know that a little piece of your heart stays with every guy until you find the right one..)
Thing is, I really, really know that I love Nate. I've known him since fifth grade, and we're best friends. I know stuff about him that no one else knows, and he knows stuff about me that no one else knows. We have alot in common, and love to hang out. Every night when we're on Instant Messanger, when we have to go, we say "I love you, sleep well, sweet dreams." This means alot to both of us.. Sometimes I think, maybe, he's the one? But I'm still so young, it's hard to tell. Nate's almost two years older than me, Pete's a few months older than me, and Jacki's a few months older than me.
I'm just really confused, if you have any advice what so ever, please lend me some! Thank you so much!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ok good question and I understand whats goin on. Since both Pete and Nate like you, rather than hurting feelings, I say you should not date either of them. i know you have these feelings for Pete with the "I love you, goodnight" but I think you have to just put it to the side. You and Pete seem like the perfect couple, not for a relationship, but for a friendship. Best friends is always better, than chancing a relationship. Last year, I had this amazing friend named Person*(lol). Person and I had all these classes together and we were the greatest of friends. But secretly, since the day I met her, I had tremendous feelings for her. But I thought to myself "Hey Andrew... these feelings and these great conversations and all this private stuff you knwo each other seems like a perfect foundation for a great friendship." And so it began... I told Person that as much as I liked her, I realized being friends was best. To this day, almost a year and a half later, we are great friends who tell each other everything. It's not that you are too young, or confused, or an age differance. It is your motive. You want a boyfriend figure badly, just as I wanted a girlfriend figure. Relationships will come and go, but friendships will last a lifetime.
]
This question will probably show up on my column somewhere. I don't know if you can delete or not.
after but you may want to try it if you don't want friends to see it. Okay? Not sure how that works.
Do you think Pete would understand if you told him that you think of him as more like a brother?
And also that you and Nate sort of have feelings for each other? Maybe you could get him alone and just kind of ask his advice about it. Maybe he would take it a little better if he thought he was helping you make the desicion...know what I mean?
I'd hate for you to have to hurt his feeling's , but then again if you and Nate really care for each other it would be a shame to pass him by.
I think you need to have a real heart to heart with Pete about your feelings. If he is as good a friend as you say then he may just understand.
You don't say how young you are, and it may not last with Nate either but, I have a feeling you should maybe give it a try.
I hope this helps some. You have a lot to think about. Big decsions to make. If you need any other help feel free to email me. Address is on my column. More private too! Best of luck and let me know how it goes. :)
]
More Questions: |