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The Interfering Grandmother
Hi. Some might say that my subject for this question seems humorous but I'm desperate.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 months. He lives in Texas and I'm in Oregon. Yes, this is an internet relationship, but it's lasted this long. So, something has to be working.
Anyway. In the beginning of the relationship my grandma didn't think much of it. She thought my boyfriend was a sweet guy (he has talked to her on the phone). Well, she thought that until she found out he's hispanic. My grandma is, as much as I hate to say it, racist.
She now doesn't allow me to call him anymore. I've resorted to sneaking the phone after she's gone to sleep. Just because I wanted to hear his voice. Talking online makes allows me and him to talk, but it's too easy to get distracted while online. I've been caught sneaking the phone and because of that she's started hiding it.
Please, I need some help. I don't know how to make my grandma understand that I love him and I don't care what race he is. I've tried to tell her, but it doesn't seem to get through. I just want her to accept it. Please, I'm up for any advice. Thank you!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
OK you love him thats all that matter so tell your grandma you love him and start calling.
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Putting your grandmother aside, how do you plan to maintan this relaitonship? You live half way across the country from each other. Are you just going to wait for 5 years until you graduate to meet him? Are you going to deprive yourself from real realtionships? Don't waste away your teen years for some guy you have never meet. Long distance relationships don't work unless you have a plan. When will you see each other next, when will you finally be together?
Maybe your grandmother will be more likely to let you talk if you are just friends. But with a women of her age, you have little chance of changing her views. And honestly I woudn't let my daughter talk on the phone and have a relationship with a strange man on the other side of the country, no mater what race he was. As long as you live in her house, you have to live under her rules. She is the one that pays the phone bills, and long distance is expensive.
Have you condsidered getting your own cell phone?
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Just confront your grandma and ask her "He's hispanic, so what?"
I mean seriously, so what?
Try saying, "I'm your grand daughter, and I really love this guy. Dont you want me to be happy? If you wont let me communicate with him, I'll never feel happiness"
(Im great in drama)
Now use a sad tone "Grandma, dont you love me? If you do, so why dont you want me to be happy?"
you always have to stand up to the adults. They always give you an order but they never explain why. So always ask :why?
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Race is not of much importance, but personality is. Explain that to her. I know you heard this so many times before, but it's whats on the inside that counts.If she liked him after she talked to him why would knowing his race change anything? i'm sure she wouldn't like to be judged by other races so she shouldn't judge them.
Hope it all works out,
xO LiSa*
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