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boyfriend
I am in a long distance relationship. I have opened up a serious conversation with my boyfriend, as he has in the past as well. We have discussed what we both want but lately it seems he is hiding something and I am not sure if it is just my own insecurity or if he really is hiding something.
we had made plans, as he recently got a promotion and had to cancel plans but has told me that we will be making plans soon again. he hasn't done this in the past to make me believe he is cheating but i think i feel as if something may be wrong. i have not got closer as i wanted to him when we last saw eachother. i brought this up to make sure we are on the same pg. as we both want as he did agree to what i had to say but sort of ended the convo. do guys not like to talk about it and just let it be or should i reask him why he did not watn to further the convo?
i have a lot of friends that seem to believe long distance relationships don't work but i do like this guy and i think we both are taking it more seriously than just a talk here and there. he is 32 and i am 26 and we know what we want as we are getting to know eachother and keeping in touch as much as possible and i do trust him. sometimes though it is hard not to ask if he is cheating? i guess i cant really believe i am writing this. i am secure with him and i think i may be an idiot and keep talking to this guy to really get to know him and stop assuming things. i have learned from the past but i think asking too many questions can be a real turn off. anyway...thought would like some advice.
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Well...this is a really tough one, but having been in a long distance relationship myself in the past perhaps I can shed some light on the situation for you. In my situation we were both 18 and we met in florida, but five months after we started dating he moved back to michigan. We continued with the relationship for two and a half years, but the only problem was is I was pretty much the only one really contributing to the relationship (I even flew him to florida all the time to visit me) and although I wanted to trust him I never really knew if he ever cheated on me or not....all I had was his word....which often did me wrong.
So my question to you would be how long have you been in the relationship? Also, how far away do you live from each other? There is a significant difference between states or just a few hours. Does he call you? Or are you calling him and keeping in touch? That is also a big factor.
If he is really that into you there is absolutely NO REASON why he wouldn't want to continue the conversation with you about the relationship. I am going to be blunt when I say it sounds to me as if he is putting you on the back burner. Like perhaps he has another girl of interest and is trying to see where it goes first, but doesn't want to let you go completely yet.
If the relationship really means a lot to the both of you then there shouldn't be a problem with having a discussion about where it is going. Be honest with yourself about your wants and needs. Be a bitch if you have to and tell him exactly how you feel and what you want and expect out of the relationship. You shouldn't have to accept any less.....especially with a long distance relationship as it's twice as hard to have. You shouldn't have to worry about "too many questions." You are both mature enough to handle an adult relationship that shouldn't involve that kind of b.s.
There is plenty more I can say, but for right now I think I've said enough, lol. But feel free to ask me any other questions you have or any you may have about my answer to you. I hope it goes well for you.
Don't settle for less than the best girl! You DO deserve it!! :)
Best of luck,
Amanda ;)
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hey, thats a tuff one. But not too tuff! Listen the next time you see each other set aside a nice day for you two. At some point in the day, try at lunch or dinner make him sit and talk about what is going on. Tell him exactly how you feel again! Then find out what he agrees with, and what he disagrees with. And find out why. Tell him this conversation is absolutely necessary to keep the relationship going (this might help get his attention). If he refuses to open up, i would suggest taking a vacation from each other. Life has a lot of good and bad things in store, and if you can't communicate (or he doesn't want to communicate) than the future looks pretty bad for both of you. It is common for guys to want to hide their feelings. Maybe he is insecure about somthing, maybe he has a complaint about the way the relatrionship is going but is scared to say? Or maybe he doesn't even know. Thats why you have to make him listen to how you feel, and demand (politely and gently) and answer from him. Hope it works out!
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