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ok, so ive been going out with this guy for a month. the thing is i think he likes me more than i like him. im only 14, this is the most serious relationship ive ever had, and when we kiss and stuff he says im the most amazing girl in the world and regularly texts me to tell me the same type of thing. he says spending time with me is the best thing ever, and he says his life would be pointless without me. which is great, if i felt the same way. dont get me wrong, i do really really like him, but he doesnt make me feel the same way as he says i make him feel. he's an amazing guy, he really is, he's sweet and funny and really kind but he's just not... the best looking guy in the world! i know that shouldnt make a difference, and its not like he's really ugly or anything, but am i being selfish by still going out with him even though i dont like him as much as he likes me? i dont want to break up with him because i love being in a relationship and i love the attention. i know that makes me sound like a really horrable person, but im not honest. im just a bit confused. help please.
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Are you sure you don't feel the same way because maybe if you spend some time together and get to know him then you might start to like him the way he likes you but if not then i think you should be honest and tell him how you feel. Sorry if it's not very good advice.
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well first off, it seems like he has a great personality. and and yes you seem very selfish about the whole thing. look at what you wrote: "he's an amazing guy, he really is, he's sweet and funny and really kind but he's just not... the best looking guy in the world!" looks arent everything. and thats what it seems like you are into more then anything. if thats the main reason you dont want to be with him, then he doesnt deserve you. but if you just dont like him and dont have feelings for him, then yes you should break up with him. if youdont you are only leading him on. either way you are leading him on so either way you should end it with him. you have to break up sooner or later. yeshe will be hurt, but if you dont do it sooner, rather than later, you will only hurt him more. the longer you wait the more hurt it will cause him.
but like i said, if your doing it b/c of looks- he doesnt deserve someone like you so end it. if your doing it because you just dont like him all together-end it soon, dont lead him on anymore.
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You are not a horrible person. You just like attention, which is fine. Now, taking advantage of someone else just ot get stuff and being in a relationship isn't good. There are other people out there looking for both of you if you aren't happy in the relationship.
This is going to confuse you, but it is ok to like someone who you think likes you more. But if you don't like him at all or just a little bit, then you should probably think about dating someone else.
Don't be too worried about him finding someone else. He may feel like he can't go on, but that is normal, and he will be fine. You might be missing out on the guy of your dreams. And you are still young yet, so I would date some more before getting terribly serious.
I hope this helps.
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Not to burst any bubbles, but you are being somewhat selfish by dating him when you don't feel the same way. If I was in your position I'd be confused too. I mean if he says his life would be pointless without you, then a breakup between the two of you would be really hard on him, but technically you're leading him on. Which means in the long run he'll be even more hurt. And you do sound kind of shallow, saying he isn't the best looking guy, and that you like the attention. Not to make you sound bad, and try not to take this like I'm saying something bad about you, but he deserves better. And by that I mean he deserves someone that feels towards him what he feels towards you. I've never been in a situation like that before, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask, and maybe you'll want a different opinion on this, because I think it is selfish to be dating someone you don't truly really like (unless you do) I could've misunderstood the question, but I hope I don't come across rude or anything. But maybe this is more of a question to ask to the whole site (unless you aren't a registered user) or to ask to other columnists who specialize in relationships. Sorry I couldn't be more help.
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