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I'm confused
I'm 20 (F) and the type of person that usually panics when somebody wants to know about by feelings. I'm not very much leaned into emotional blabberings.
I have been in a relationship where we don't see each other much but agreed to fix our lives (school, family etc) first before we go head-on a serious relationship.
My problem is - How, as girl can I control my feelings of longing to be with that person because I don't want destroy that future plan and disturb his pleasant present because of by my present needs (wherein in all the years of my life, its the first time I've felt this confusion)?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Just to let you know, I'm personally a great fan of commuter relationships. They're definitely not for everybody, though; they have pitfalls that most people can fall into easily. Sounds like you might be in one of them.
First, if you ever find yourself having to "control" feelings, something's wrong. Feelings should not (and in most cases CAN not) be controlled - only behavior. It sounds like you're just being vexed because you want to be with him very badly, and are probably just thinking about it too much.
Be careful that when the two of you spend time apart, you aren't idealizing him. It's very, very easy to have rose-tinted glasses when you're thinking about someone you haven't seen in a while; over time somehow their faults that were evident the last time you meet suddenly cease to be important so long as you can just see them again soon. So while the two of you are "fixing" your lives, I wouldn't by any means stifle or cut off contact with the boy - you need it to keep both of you honest and realistic. Moreover, learning to restrain yourself in contact with him should help you curb whatever aspects of your needs you think might smother him.
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hmm, maybe your becoming more emotional as you get older? Chocolate is always nice way to let out emotion, I always drown myself in a warm shower and chocolate whenever I'm feeling down or feeling romantically alone. Maybe you two could arrange more times to be together, it's more healthy in my opinion if a relationship includes at least 2hours of confrontation a day. Try and talk to him about how you feel.. maybe he's been feeling the same way? You never know.
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Since you have never really trusted someone enough to tell them about your emotions and feelings for them, and other feelings of yours, it's about time you give this guy a chance. Tell him about your present needs, try to work around it, learn to trust him, he deserves that much. It is an ultimate learning experience that you need, and he deserves for you to be able to control these feelings. You're feeling this confusion because you are really attached to this guy, so the best I can tell you, is to completely trust him, the worst thing that will happen is that you will learn from it and move on. It's really hard, and believe me I know, but you can't really take advice from a bunch of strangers, do what you really feel is right. I really hope I helped though. Good luck and keep me posted. -Angel
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Well maybe you could call him, and talk to him so that way you could @ least hear his voice! hope this helps!
~Alyssa
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