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my guy
Hi alisonmarie-- I have been with this man for 7 years--thought we would be a "forever" pair, but----I find he does not want to "do things" for me unless I preface or end the request with "please"--I don't feel the word "please" is necessary with each and everything I ask him to do. What do you think??--- (I'm an "old" woman of 58 years old) --Thanks for your insight------
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First of all, what sort of things? If it's everyday general stuff (doing the dishes, taking out the trash, getting you a glass of water), then I think there's a fine balance. Manners are there for a reason, and saying 'please' and 'thank you' shows that you are appreciating the effort the other person makes.
Of course, demanding that you say 'please' all the time could indicate that your partner has some control issues - or perhaps he feels taken for granted.
I'd sit down with him and ask WHY he wants you to say 'please' all the time; a conversation should hopefully be able to provide some reasons, as well as giving you a chance to express your frustration. I'm thinking this sounds like a general difference of outlook on life, but that the two of you should be able to come to a compromise.
I'll also briefly point out that being very upset about something like this could point to bigger problems in a relationship - is it possible you're using this as an excuse to end the relationship? In this cases, I think it's always best to search your heart and mind, and then listen to them.
Talk with your partner, being honest and non-blaming, and see how he responds. Seven years is a sizeable chunk of time, and if you both really love each other, both of you will have to work to resolve this issue.
Best of luck.
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