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living in the past
Umm yea my dad past away on september 25 if 2003 and lately people have been saying how much they hate their dads because they wont give them everything they want and i can't help but flip out on them and i feel bad for it but they dont understand...my dad was never there for me and we only talked like 3 times my whole life and i am 16 years old and, i was in foster care and 2 weeks before my dad passed away he told the judge he would take me and then he got in an accident and died what do i do
*CONFUSED*
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i'm sorry to hear about your dad. my boyfriend's dad passed away about two years ago as well. i must say i was probably one of your friends that said awful things about my dad (in anger). but honestly everyone is going to be mad at their parents whether it's their mom or dad. i know it probably hurts you,, when they mention mean things about their dads when you don't have a dad anymore. there's nothing you really can do besides let your friends know they are lucky to have a dad. they may then realize that it's not appropriate for them to belittle their dad in front of you. One day when their older and more mature then they will realize how immature they were being.
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Dear Confused,
First off my condolences to you on the loss of your father.
If I were in your shoes I think I might try to gather all the pictures of him I possibly could.
And write down all the things that have been said , stories etc. about him that you'd like to remember.
Also if possible I would try and establish a relationship with his parents ( your grandparents ) if you don't already have one.
Also his brother's and sister's your Aunt's & Uncle's.
My heart aches for you when everything was so close to becoming a reality for you.
My father was forced out of my life when I was three years old. I'd looked for him for years when I found him it was too late he'd passed away.
So my heart cracks for the pain you must feel.
But these are the only things I can think of that in hindsight I'd have done myself differently.
Sincerely,
evlevo85
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life is hard. everyone knows that. but life is short too. try to have a bit of fun just chillin with your friends everyonce and a while! also KEEP A JOUNRAL. it is hard when you loose your father, VERY HARD. a journal will help you express your feelings. if you are mad, write that down, write why you are mad, you could even draw a picture. i sereously hope i helped. tell me if i didn't!
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Yow.
I really wish I knew what to tell you. I cannot begin to imagine what you have gone through and how it has effected you. I mean, from what you said, it was like you were getting a new chance with your dad, only to have the door slammed shut again, this time permanently...
I can understand you flipping out on those who clearly have no appreciation for what they have in their family life. When someone is taking such things for granted and acting spoiled, they need a reality check. I just wish that you didn't have to suffer so much "reality" to be the one stuck giving them the message.
Perhaps you can use your experience to convince others to think about how good they have it from a more objective point of view.
Again, I wish there was something I could say to help you somehow. I hope that maybe someone will be able to step into a father-figure type role for you, or at least act as an older sibling to give you a shoulder to lean on when you need it.
Sincerely,
MFS
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Just try and not to get mad about it, just when people say stuff like that, remind them of how lucky they are to atleast have a father figure in their life and the shouldnt take it for granted, because they'll never know when he might leave them...
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