Question Posted Tuesday September 21 2004, 5:50 pm
My best friend is 16 and she has been dating this guy that is 20, they have been going out for about 2 months or so and he has been trying to have sex with her. And she always told him that I don't want that and she's waiting(virgin). And he would say ok but then later on when they see each other again he trys. So I'm thinking maybe he could be trying to use her for sex. They "love each other" but I don't know, I'm kind of feeling a little iffy about this guy. What do you think or what should I do??
lorelei answered Tuesday September 21 2004, 11:24 pm: He may not just be using her for sex.
Some people see sex as a sort of validation for a relationship. Perhaps he feels it necessary they have sex since they're "supposed" to be in love and that's what people in love do.
There is the chance that he is using her, though. That's hard for me to tell, since I don't know anyone involved. I'm just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
In any case, it's totally wrong of him to continue pressuring her after she's told him she wants to wait. If your friend wants to continue in that relationship, and his constantly asking doesn't bother her, she can continue expressing to him that she really wants to wait and she just isn't ready for sex. Perhaps he'll realize it in time. I wouldn't recommend that, though.
I always say, the moment you start to feel uncomfortable in a relationship with someone, it's time to break it off. If your friend is starting to feel uncomfortable, perhaps it is time to move on. Sex is a big deal and waiting to give it up is a big decision that he should respect if he loves her so much.
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